


Defenses

by PuddingHearts



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Awkward Sexual Situations, Eventual Smut, F/M, Face-Sitting, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Masturbation, Past Child Abuse, Porn with Feelings, Shane (Stardew Valley) is Bad at Feelings, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Unnamed Farmer, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:34:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22828774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuddingHearts/pseuds/PuddingHearts
Summary: You're the new farmer in Pelican town.  Everyone knows you as being bubbly and sweet.  There's always a smile on your face.Except, there's not.You've built an image for yourself so no one would worry about you.  The last thing you want is for anyone to see how much of a mess the town's new farmer is.But if there's anyone who knows messy, it's Shane.The two of you have to learn not only how to deal with yourselves, but also each other.
Relationships: Shane (Stardew Valley)/Reader, Shane/Female Player (Stardew Valley), Shane/Player (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 91
Kudos: 427





	1. Hot and Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I just want to start by apologizing right away! This is the first fic I've written in about ten years. I've missed writing and wanted to take a chance on it again. Also I need there to be more Shane/Reader fics sooooo... Ah, I'm so nervous!  
> I hope you enjoy!

"Ah shit, please still be there..."

  
The weather may have chilled considerably ever since Summer had ended, but you were still glistening with sweat on this mild Autumn night. You had been in the mines way longer than you anticipated due to getting distracted by the most beautiful emerald you thought you'd ever seen. It had popped out after you accidentally destroyed a barrel in the middle of a fight against a little slime. It had to have belonged to someone, there's no way it hadn't. It was so clear and cut so perfectly. You just had to keep it. Whoever it belonged to probably wouldn't miss it, anyway. You were pretty sure no one besides yourself ever went that deep in. You felt slightly guilty, but mostly satisfied that you could give the gem a new, loving home.

  
As you rushed to your destination, your heart skipped a couple beats as you almost face planted from taking the stairs too quickly by Pierre's shop. "Come on, (Y/N), be more careful, damn fool," you say to yourself, running your fingers through your damp hair before taking off again for the Stardrop Saloon. The last thing you needed was to break a bone and not be able to do any work on the farm during the biggest season of the year.

  
You reach the saloon, nearly wheezing from a mixture of anxiety and running with your shitty lungs. Despite arriving later than you had planned, you took a couple minutes to compose yourself before heading inside. You brush as much dust and soot off of yourself as you could and fan your flushed, hot face, silently begging it to return to a normal color before anyone can compare you to a tomato.

  
Once you're as ready as you can be, you push open the heavy door to the saloon and you're immediately overwhelmed by how loud and crowded it was. There was hardly ever this many people out this late on a weeknight, so it caught you off guard. You debated just going back home and laying down, but you couldn't. You had to do this.

  
You scanned the place and your eyes landed on your target.

  
Ah-ha! Still here, thank Yoba!

  
As you make your way over to the back room where the boys were playing pool, you pulled out your prized amethyst out of your bag. You felt dark eyes on you from beside the fireplace but chose to ignore them as you walked over to the woman with the beautiful violet hair sitting on the couch in the back.

  
"Happy birthday, Abigail! Sorry I'm late, I'm so glad you're still here!" You hand her the gem and Abigail stares at you with wide eyes for just a second before she gives you a playful smirk.

  
"You remembered my birthday? I'm impressed. Thanks." She stands up from her spot on the couch and studies the amethyst for a bit in the light.

  
"It was no problem! It was one of my favorites, but I never got around to getting my display up for all of my gemstones. I figured you could give it a good home!"

  
As the two of you were chatting about the mines, your eyes wandered to the fireplace. Your eyes kept scanning the area until they met those of the man who had been standing there.

  
It was that asshole, Shane. Why was he staring? Didn't he want you to leave him alone? You broke the gaze, but were now extremely aware of every action you were doing.

  
"Everything alright, (Y/N)?" Sam questioned. He must have noticed your demeanor change. Do you tell them? They were all looking at you now, concerned. Your face grew hot again.

  
Yeah, you were definitely in Tomato Mode right now...

  
"I'm... fine. Probably just tired from being in the mines so long. Who knows, I probably breathed in some nasty fumes or something, hehehe.." You shrugged. They didn't really buy it, but didn't press for more information, thankfully.

  
***

  
After a couple more games of pool, the trio decided to leave for the night. You were still wound up from everything you had to do earlier in the day and decided to order a drink or two while you were here. Most of the traffic had come and gone, leaving just Pam, Clint, and the asshole who had been burning holes in the back of your head all night.

  
You hopped onto a free stool at the bar. Emily gave you a warm smile. "What will it be, tonight, (Y/N)?"

Shit, what WILL it be? What do people usually order?

  
"Surprise me," you say, maybe a little too confidently.

  
While Emily is making the drink, you risk a glance over at Shane. The dark haired man raises one of his thick eyebrows at you, expression still cold. With a sassy eye roll, your attention goes back to the bartender as she finishes preparing your drink. She slides a shot your direction and you thank her.

  
You spend a couple minutes inspecting the little drink. It looked like the average shot, a warm brown liquid that was sure to burn on its way down. You've never been a drinker, and hardly ever order anything besides coffee at the bar. How hard could a shot be?

  
Bringing the small glass to your lips, you take a sip. Your eyes clench in disapproval.

  
"No fucking way..." Shane pinches the bridge of his nose. Is he... snickering?

  
What?

  
"Excuse me?" You're sassy with him because, first of all, rude. Second of all...

  
Oh shit.

  
He's on his way over.

  
_Fuck_.

  
Shane sits at the stool next to you and puts his big head in his hand. He turns to you and gives you a shit-eating grin.

  
"You wanna explain to me why you're sipping on a shot?" He looks way too amused at what he just saw.

  
You go Tomato Mode for the third time that night.

  
"I, uh... don't do this often," you say quietly, hoping he just leaves it alone.

  
"Mhmm, more like, you don't do this ever," he retorts.

  
"Ok fine, I'm only used to drinking anything that's mixed with some sort of cola, happy?"

  
"No," he deadpans.

  
"Keep the rest then, I'm going home."

As you start to get up from your seat, he puts his large hand on your arm. He doesn't say anything but you sit back down, avoiding his gaze.

  
The little shot stares back at you, almost like it's mocking your pathetic ass. You feel defeated.

  
"So, uh..." Shane starts. "Why did you decide to drink tonight? It's obviously not your thing so..." he trailed off.

  
"Eh, life..." is all you can manage to say.

  
"So you come in here, give Abigail a rock, and that was enough to do you in?" he says half sarcastically.

  
"Hey, it wasn't just a rock, it was my favorite amethyst!"

  
Shane just gives you a bored look. "Rock is rock."

  
It's silent for awhile before you decide to speak up, "I just... have my reasons, alright?"

  
He studied you with those dark eyes for what felt like forever. That answer seemed to be enough for him. He seemed... empathetic, almost.

  
"Look," he says, "I don't consider myself to be fantastic at many things. In fact, I would call myself a complete failure at most things." Wondering where he plans on going with this "motivational speech" or whatever he wants to call it, you stay quiet and listen. "But, the one thing I am good at, is drinking until I can't be bothered by the shit that runs through my head. And it looks to me like you might need a little help with that," He smiles softly, only for a second, and then his lips press back into that flat line. "The trick is to just down it as fast as you can, you don't want to taste it or you'll stop yourself from finishing."

  
You do as he says and you can't help but feel hot afterward. It was probably from the alcohol burning your insides. Definitely not because you felt like you witnessed a side of Shane that no one has seen before. Probably not.  
Shane orders you two another round and you both down them quickly. You both get to talking about small things on the farm and Shane is almost surprised at how much he is enjoying your company. He's sure the booze has something to do with it, but for right now, he's not going to question anything.

  
Right before he orders a third shot for you, he looks over and sees you sucking on the glass so it sticks to your face. Your cheeks are flushed and eyes are glassy. When you notice him staring, you pull the glass off of your mouth with a POP! Your head hits the countertop and you giggle loudly.

  
' _Oh Yoba_ ,' Shane thought, ' _She's a fucking lightweight..._ '

  
"Hey, (Y/N), you should probably start heading home," he says while getting up and stumbling slightly. His head was spinning from the drinks he'd had all night and the shot he added on top of that.

  
You grumbled something only for it to get lost into the counter your face was still pressed up against.

  
Shane shakes your shoulder and you look up at him, pouting. Your lips were puffy and still had a ring around them from the glass. In that moment, Shane thought you were kinda cute. In an annoying way, of course.

  
"I'm taking you back to the farm, c'mon." He put his arm around your waist and helped you slide off of the stool. You steadied yourself and he let you go. The two of you left the saloon together and the chilly fall air hit you. Your body started shivering uncontrollably. On the way to your farm, you hoped Shane wouldn't notice the shivers.

  
"You're cold," he states.

  
He noticed.

  
Shane sighs and takes his Joja hoodie off and hands it to you. Your blush returns as you take it and wrap it around yourself. He notices your red face, but decides that he's teased you enough for tonight. Damn it, you actually looked really cute blushing in his clothes. He shook his head. The alcohol was definitely hitting him hard.

  
It was quiet for the rest of the walk back to your place. Shane took his first good look at your farm. Sure it was run down, but the sunflowers and corn swaying in the breeze were calming. And damn was he getting sleepy.

  
You fumbled with your keys for a while before finally opening the door. You take a step in and glance back at Shane. The chilly autumn air had sobered you up a little, but there was still a fog in your head.

  
Shane ran his fingers through his head and sighed. "Well, you're home safe. Night." He turned around and took a couple clumsy steps down your porch.

  
"Wait," you called out softly.

  
He froze, silently cursing the way his heart skipped a beat. When he turned around, he met your gaze and saw your flushed face.

  
Your eyes fell to your shoes.

  
"You're in no condition to be walking back to Marnie's on your own."

  
Shane shrugged. "I'm usually way more fucked up when I go home, this is nothing."

  
"A-are you sure? You're not tired?"

  
He just stared at you. You weren't implying...?

  
Ok, maybe he'll tease you a little more tonight.

  
Shane walked back up the worn porch and stood in the doorway. He was in your personal space enough that you could feel his breath on your face. He smelled of alcohol and his cologne made you dizzy in all the right ways.  
"So, (Y/N), any reason why you want me to stay so bad?" His voice was husky. It made your knees weak and you leaned against the wall to help support yourself. Your eyes were glued to his stubbly jaw and those lips. The two of you stayed like that for what felt like forever. It almost felt like you were dreaming. Were you really even here?

  
"(Y/N)... hey-"

  
You cut him off by smashing your lips to his. You had to taste him. Consequences would be dealt with tomorrow.

  
Shane stiffened and felt heat flow through him. He held your hips and guided you further into your little house, kicking the door shut. He kissed you back with just as much force. He ran his tongue along your lip and you opened your mouth to him to give him a better taste.

  
You half expected him to have pushed you away by now, so you weren't sure what to do with your hands. You ran one hand through his dark violet hair, and held his arm with the other. He bit your lip and you let out a soft moan. He moved to your neck and started nipping and sucking his way down to your collar bone. Your hips rolled into his, causing him to release a long groan.

  
One of his hands moved up your side to find a breast to play with. You kept grinding against him, desperate to feel his growing hardness against you. He bit your neck hard and you gasped.

  
"Sh-shane..." you whimpered.

  
He went rigid.

  
You looked up at him, concerned. His eyes were fixated on the mark he had left on your neck.

  
"I've got to go now," he muttered.

  
"Wh-what? Why?"

  
His gaze met yours. He looked colder than ever. He stepped away from you and the chilly night hit you once again. Your shivers returned, not just from the cold but also your racing mind.

  
"I'll make it home safe." He opened the door. You thought you heard him mutter a quiet "sorry" as he took off into the night without his hoodie.

  
You just stood in the doorway, looking out into the forest as he disappeared in the early hours of the morning.

  
What happened? What did you do wrong?

  
You closed the door and shed his jacket with the rest of your clothes until you were just in your underwear. Your bed welcomed you as you rolled yourself tightly into a ball of blankets and person.

  
Making a mental note to apologize to Shane next time you see him, you drifted off into sleep, begging for this all to be one fucked up dream.

  
***

When Shane made it back to Marnie's, he went straight to the mini fridge in his room and pulled out a few cans of beer. He felt sick, but he washed it down with more alcohol.

  
It all felt so wrong. You didn't know him or understand him. You were just drunk and confused. You deserved a much better person to take you home and give you what you craved at night. Not him.

  
He fell onto his bed, surrounded by cans, both empty and full.

  
You deserved better.

  
Shane drunk himself into the void.

  
Making a mental note to avoid you at all costs, he drifted off into sleep, begging for this all to be one fucked up dream.


	2. Friendly Reminder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! Beginning of the chapter has an abuse flashback. Feel free to skip if that makes you uncomfortable! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

***  
 _"It's for your own good."_

  
_His hand had a violent grip in your hair, pushing your head into the corner. You tried to fight back, but the effort was met with your forehead being slammed back into the wall._

  
_"You did this to yourself."_

  
_You feel hot tears rush down your cheeks and pool at the tip of your nose. You watch them as they drip to the floor, reality setting in and causing you to hyperventilate. He pulls you by your hair again._

  
_"You're so annoying when you cry. You're being dramatic. STOP. FUCKING. CRYING." He punctuated each word with another slam into the wall._

  
_Your sobs stopped. He held you there for a few more minutes until he felt that you were properly punished and released you._

  
_You look over at your mother. No emotions on her face whatsoever._

  
_She and that man faded away, leaving you alone in the empty room._

***

  
Your eyes shoot open. Your heart is racing and you make a quick scan of the room, relaxing when you realize you're home.

  
You're safe.

  
You stretch long and hard, muscles shaking in the best way, readying themselves for another day of hard work.

  
Before making your way to the bathroom to start your routine, your eye catches something blue resting by your foot at the end of the bed. You inspected it and suddenly everything from last night came rushing back.

  
Oh yeah.

  
You and Shane...

  
You blushed for a second before a pit formed in your stomach. You groan and bury your face in Shane's hoodie. You inhaled deeply and admired how it smelled. Sure, it smelled a bit musty and a little like beer, but the cologne he used to mask the scent had your heart pounding.

  
 _'What happened to you? You spend one night together and now you're drooling over the guy's hoodie?'_ You chastised yourself and finally made it to the bathroom.

  
The eyes in the mirror glanced back at you. You made a face of disgust at your reflection, a little offended when it returned the gesture. You ran fingers through your hair and debated brushing it. You settled for just securing it out of your face. With your hair fastened out of your face, a dark red mark on your neck came into view. There was no hiding that one. You'll just have to avoid as many people as you can today.

  
You took one last look at your tired eyes and sighed. It was time to start the day.

  
You decided that your plan for the day was to tend to your chores on the farm, return Shane's hoodie, and give him a proper apology. You check the fortune for the day and it looked like the spirits were not happy today. Great...

  
_'This is going to be a long day.'_

  
With one last sunflower to water, crops and animals were officially tended to. You ran back inside and took a shower that was meant to be quick, but your mind wandered, going over every worst case scenario you could think of. He was going to call you a monster. He was going to yell at you and everyone in town would know just how shitty of a person you were.

  
When the water ran cold, you forced yourself out. You put on a fresh change of clothes and looked yourself over one last time. It'll have to do. You grabbed Shane's hoodie and put it in a backpack before heading out. The last thing you wanted was word getting out that you two slept with each other, even if you didn't. Especially since he definitely regretted the little you two did do.

  
The walk to town was nice at first. The overcast sky and sounds of leaves blowing in the wind put you at ease. It was a considerably cooler evening, however, and you kicked yourself mentally for thinking that letting the wind dry your hair was a good idea.

  
 _"You're a disaster,"_ a voice echoed.

  
You made it into town just in time to catch Shane as he got off of work at JojaMart. His hands were in his pockets, trying his best to stay warm without his hoodie. He walked over the bridge with his head down, uninterested in passerbys, just dedicated to getting to Stardrop Saloon without any hassle.

  
"Shane!" you called out to him.

  
So much for no hassle.

  
' _Maybe if I keep walking, she'll take the hint,_ ' he thought to himself bitterly.

  
You caught up to him and he just gave you a cold stare. The emotionless look he gave you drew up a dark memory for a split second, but you pushed it away.

  
"Shane, I need to talk to you."

  
He turned away and gave you a grumble in return, and tried to walk around you, but you stopped him.

  
"It's important. Please." You gave him a serious face.

  
"Fine," he muttered, still refusing to look at you. He searched the area and saw a couple curious townsfolk. "Let's go somewhere quieter for this."

  
The two of you took off for the fountain. It was empty for the night. Everyone was either at home escaping the chilly autumn night or at the saloon warming themselves up with a few drinks, you guessed. Shane sat down on the edge of the fountain and rested his elbows on his knees. You took a seat next to him and gust of wind sent chills down your spine. You saw his frame shake a little and that reminded you why you were here. You shrugged your backpack off and pulled the hoodie out. Shane raised an eyebrow.

  
"Huh," he took the hoodie and decided to put it on and warm up a bit. He was quiet for awhile before he murmured, "I was wondering where this went."

  
You gathered your courage and was finally ready to speak but he cut you off. "If that's all you wanted, I'm going to the saloon now." He started to get up, grunting a little from the effort it took.

  
"I'm sorry... for last night," you started. "I didn't mean to upset you."

  
Shane froze and sat back down.

  
"Huh?" He sounded geniunely confused. He glanced over at you and his eyes landed on the mark on your neck. 

  
The mark he made on you.

  
He blushed a little, remembering the noises you had made while he bit your soft flesh. The memories of you pushing your body against his sent a heat through him and he felt his pants tightening a bit.

  
"I'm sorry if I did anything wrong. I know we never got along before, so I shouldn't have pushed your boundaries."

  
Shane gave you a stern look. "First off," he stated, "don't be sorry. It was nice." You gave him a doubtful look.

  
"If it was so nice, then what was the problem?"

  
He sighed and gazed towards the town. "The problem is that it WAS nice..." he trailed off. He couldn't tell you that he had been unable to get the image of you flushed and needy out of his head all day. Thoughts of what else could've happened had filled his mind throughout his shift. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop picturing you with his hands all over you. In these thoughts, he would mark you all over. Clothes bunched up and tossed aside. Hands grabbing desperately. Soft moans and names spilling off of each other's lips... 

  
He definitely needs a drink before his imagination gets too out of hand.

  
"Look," he started, "you're just better off not thinking about me. I'm not worth the trouble."

  
"Well, this hickey you left on me makes it kinda hard to forget," you said with a soft smile. He looked away, but you could see the blush on his cheeks. "And maybe..." you continued, "Maybe I don't want to forget."

  
"Heh, you're weird." He let a smile slip from his usually cold demeanor. "But I mean it, I'm really not worth the trouble."

  
"If you say so," you shrugged. "Just know that if you ever need anyone, I'm here," you shot him a smirk, "whether you need a friend or... something else. I'll be there." Your cheeks were getting hot at your own boldness but you meant it.

  
He locked eyes with you for awhile, as if testing you to get a feel for how genuine you were being.

  
"Hm, if you say so..." he started. "Just don't regret it. Please." He rose from his spot on the fountain and turned to face the town. "Thanks for returning my hoodie. And for putting up with my mood earlier." Without looking your way, he waved and took off towards the saloon.

  
Shortly after he left, you decided to head home and crawl into your warm bed.

  
That night, your dreams were filled with the feel of his hands and the sound of his voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I plan on updating this as much as possible. We need more Shane content!


	3. Sudden Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get saucy~ Hope y'all don't mind! This is my first real smut ever, so sorry if it's awkward, hehehe!

Shane stumbled into his room with a very pleasent buzz from his night at the saloon. He had done everything he could to lose himself to the booze and shake you out of his head, but it was all pointless. You were stuck there. He unbuttoned his cargo shorts and they slid off with ease. He ran a hand over the growing bulge under his boxers.

'You're disgusting' he thought to himself bitterly. But the last thing he wanted was to risk waking up with a hard on that he couldn't get rid of.

He pulled his shirt off and ran a hand over his chest while the other was still working him over the fabric of his underwear. He fell to his bed ungracefully, causing his head to spin out of control. Shane held a hand over his eyes while he collected himself. Once the room stopped spinning, he softly gripped his dick again, imagining you teasing him. He thought of you working him softly, refusing to touch him where he wanted until he begged.

"Please..." he whimpered quietly to himself.

Shane brought both hands up to pinch his nipples slightly, letting out a soft moan. He dragged his hands down his chest and stomach, stopping at his boxers. He teased the skin around the waistband shortly before slowly sliding the fabric down, wondering what face you would make if you could see his hot, throbbing member spring to life after they were off.

While he brought one hand back up to give attention to a dark pink nipple, he used the other to play with the leaking tip, imagining you licking it and kissing it gently. You were the one in control in this fantasy.

He gave himself slow and shallow strokes, teasing himself just the way he liked. It had been awhile since he had someone to aide him with his sexual ventures, so he had plenty of time to get to know his body and what got him going.

The hand he was using to play with his nipple traveled down and cupped his balls lightly. He started doing faster and longer pumps, envisioning his dick disappearing behind soft pink lips. Oh how he wanted to take hold of your soft hair and guide you while you devoured his cock. He craved your touch and the little sounds you made the other night.

It didn't take much longer for the coil wound up inside him to snap. His thighs clenched and his dick twitched and emptied thick, hot streams of cum violently onto his stomach and fist. He pumped himself slowly, riding out his orgasm before a wave of repulsion came over him.

Shane groaned and leaned over his bed, finding tissues to wipe himself off with. Once clean, he pulled his boxers back on and rolled onto his stomach.

"What the hell is wrong with me..." he muttered into his pillow. 

He eventually drifted to sleep, waking up every half hour to toss and turn before eventually waking up to his alarm. His head was throbbing as the memories of the previous night flooded his mind. What a mess...

After stewing in self loathing way too long, Shane finally dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. The hot water felt relaxing to him, easing the muscles around his neck that were sore from sleeping so awkwardly. He wished he could stay like that longer, but he was already running behind for work. He dried himself off, put fresh clothes on, brushed his teeth, and made sure to spray his cologne just in case that wasn't enough for JojaMart's standards.

He wanted to leave for work without bothering anyone, but as he exited the bathroom, Jas was coming out of her room.

"Uncle Shane! I'm going to play outside today! You should play too!" The small girl bounced over to him with an arm full of dolls and fake china.

"Sorry, Princess, I gotta work," Shane replied bluntly.

"After your work, then!" Jas countered.

He sighed. "Look, Jas, I'm really not feeling like a tea party today, sorry," he said in a huff. Shane tied his shoes and had opened the door when he heard a small sniffle. Regretfully, he glanced over towards the girl and felt his heart break at the sight of her.

Damn it.

"Yo-you n-n-never want to pla-sniff-play with me..." she sobbed. Shane tried to calm her down, but she ran back into her room and slammed the door.

"Shane? Jas? Is everything alright?" he heard Marnie shout from her room. Shane belligerently took off and answered his aunt's question with a door slam of his own.

***  
The whole walk to work Shane couldn't get the incident with Jas out of his head. There was a solid pounding in his skull from his hangover and everything from his stress to the bright sunlight was making it worse. He hadn't even started his shift at JojaMart yet and he was already craving a couple cold ones. As soon as it hit five, he planned on cleaning Pierre's out of six packs of whatever cheap beer he could afford. 

As he got closer to the little shop, he saw a familiar figure coming from the community center. You were wearing a dark oversized sweater tucked into high waisted faded jeans. Shane couldn't help but take a moment to stare at the way your jeans hugged your curves.

Of course. Just his luck.

You waved at him, sweet smile on your face, cheeks a little flushed from what he assumed was all the work you did on that farm. Shane really wasn't in the mood to chat, especially not with the person that's been keeping him up the last couple of nights. He quickened his pace, but you were determined to catch up to him. If anyone had bothered to watch, they would probably wonder why the new farmer was chasing the town asshole. It would definitely be talk of the town for a couple weeks.

When you finally caught up to him on the bridge, you put a hand on his shoulder. "You're in a hurry to work today!" you giggled. He grunted and shrugged your hand off of him, still keeping a speedy pace toward one of his many personal hellholes. You frowned, immediately sensing something was wrong. You ran and stood in front of him, giving him a pitiful look.

"Shane... are you feeling alright?" you asked, your voice taking a more serious tone than usual.

"Fine."

"Something's up," you stated. "How about after you get off we-"

"(Y/N)..." he cut you off. "Do me a favor and leave me alone. How many times do I have to tell you before you take the hint?"

He gave you a dark glare and tried to ignore the hurt in your eyes. You shrank into yourself and stepped aside, giving him the space he demanded. 

He felt like a complete ass as he stomped passed you and entered JojaMart. You didn't deserve to be demeaned like that. You were just trying to help him and he shut you down. Despite feeling remorse for his actions, he still hoped that you would finally let him do his own thing. You didn't deserve to have someone like him holding you back. It hurt him like hell to think like that, but he knew it was for the best. Hurting the people he cared about was one of his few talents.

Shane spent his whole shift feeling like he had a storm cloud hovering over him. Stocking the shelves made it too easy to space out and let the mind wander. He went back and forth trying to decide if it would be best to apologize or just let you hate him. He was a man of fact and science, but today had left him almost wishing for some sort of sign. He had no idea what to do. First he upset Jas and made her cry, now this. What else could possibly go wrong for him today? He accidentally bumped glass jars of sauce off of one of the shelves. Morris spat at him to clean it up before someone got hurt, obviously caring more about the lawsuit than anyone's actual safety. Shane sighed.

Was he going to accidentally kick Charlie while feeding the other chickens in the morning?

He really hoped he didn't jinx himself with that one.

***

Once five o'clock hit and it was time to clock out, he debated where he wanted to get shit faced. He entered Pierre's and browsed a bit before deciding on the more affordable of the few options, settling for quantity over quality. Pierre gave him a sad smile as he handed Shane back his change. He was sick of always getting pity from everyone else. 

After he bought all the beer he could hold, he had decided on the dock on the pond next to Marnie's ranch. He made a habit of going to the pond to cool off and reflect. He never saw anyone else hang out in that area anyway since the townsfolk around here tried to stay far away from the wizard who lived nearby. There, it would be quiet and if he was lucky, he would get so fucked up he would fall into the small body of water and drown. He felt that such a pathetic death would be fitting considering the life he had.

By the time Shane made it to the pond, it had gotten pretty dark. Winter was right around the corner and night time came fast this time of the year. A gust of bitter wind earned a shiver out of him and his pace quickened towards his destination. Once the alcohol hit him, he would warm up enough to tolerate the chilly evening.

Shane pushed through a clearing in some bushes and made his way toward the dock, shocked to find a figure already there. He was even more shocked when the figure turned around and he heard a soft gasp followed by a, "Who's there?"

Shit. He just couldn't escape you.

"It's just me," he mumbled, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. He wasn't ready to face you yet, but there you were. It felt as if life wanted to mess with him.

"Oh," he heard you say. There was a long pause before you continued, "Would you like me to leave?" He walked to the end of the dock, set the cases of beer down, and sat next to you.

"Nah... stay."

Shane opened one of the cases and grabbed two beers, offering one to you. He saw you relax slightly and the two of you drank in silence for awhile. The night was a quiet one, completely silent besides the occasional howl of the wind. Shane felt a lot of the rage from the day release from his body, leaving mostly regret and sadness.

"(Y/N)..." he started, voice soft, just above a whisper. You glanced over and were met with drawn to dark, bloodshot eyes. "There's no excuse for how I acted earlier today." Shane's eyes drifted to the water, watching the moon's reflection become visible after it escaped cover from a cloud. You stayed silent, not knowing how to respond just yet. He felt his face heat up and he started sweating lightly. He didn't do apologies often.

"I'm sorry."

You take a deep breath and let out a long exhale, releasing a wave of anxiety with it. "Tell me, are you feeling alright? What happened today?"

Shane finished his first can and cracked open a new one. He took a long sip and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I made Jas cry today." He ran a hand through his hair and turned his head to avoid your gaze as he blinked back tears. "I always let her down. All I do is make her sad. I'm supposed to take care of her but I feel like I'm screwing her up more than doing any good." His voice let out a small crack at the end, alcohol breaking his walls down. "Her parents trusted me with her in case something happened. That something ended up happening and I can't help but think she would be better off without me in her life."

You scoot closer to him until your thighs touch and rub his back gently. He flinched for a second, but eventually relaxed to your touch. 

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for," you say softly. "I had no idea what kind of situation you guys were in."

"Yeah, it's pretty messed up." Shane let out a small chuckle and then a groan. "But I love Jas. She's family to me now. It kills me that I'm not enough."

You let out a hum in response and the two of you remain like that for awhile. You're still massaging soft circles on his back while you both finish a can. While grabbing another can for each of you, you decide to break the silence.

"I've decided to forgive you," you say with a playful smile. Shane gives you an annoyed look.

"I didn't ask for your forgiveness."

"I know! But I'm giving it to you whether you like it or not."

"Heh... if you insist, I guess I can't fight you."

Both the booze and the closeness of your bodies had Shane feeling hot and dizzy. He took another long gulp. "There's another thing that's been bugging me..." he started.

"And what would that be?" you asked. Shane felt his face go warm. He leaned back and looked up at the night sky.

"Promise me you'll stop me if I make you uncomfortable. If you feel weird, feel free to slap me, alright?" 

Letting out a small, nervous giggle, you nod your head, encouraging him to go on. It felt like your heart was about to burst out of your chest and you hoped he couldn't hear it over the silence of the night.

Collecting his thoughts for a moment, he chugged the rest of the beer you handed him. He set the empty can behind him and rested his cheek in his hand, slightly cutting you off from his vision so he wouldn't chicken out.

"The other night... You said you didn't want to forget it. But I'll be honest with you... I did want to forget." A small wave of disappointment hit you. You couldn't really blame him for wanting to forget about you.

He was quick to cut you off of your dark thoughts.

"But..." he shoved his fingers in his hair and rested his forehead on his palms. "I CAN'T forget."

Eyes widening, you let out an almost silent, "huh?"

Shane sighed. "For the last couple of days, I haven't been able to shake you from my mind. It's gotten so bad that..." he let out a frustrated groan. "I don't know how to say it without sounding like a creep... I-uh... I keep thinking about how I left you. I wish I didn't."

You tried your best to follow along but he wasn't making a lot of sense. He peeked over at you expecting to see you disgusted at him, but all he could see was your face twisted in confusion. Annoyed, he decided to continue. He figured he might as well keep digging his grave.

"Do I have to spell it out?" he grumbled, more frustrated at himself than you.

"Are you saying...?" you trailed off, not wanting to guess incorrectly and make things even more awkward than they already were.

"Look," he began, turning fully towards you now. "Maybe if we finish what we started... we could both have that closure?" He let out a long exhale, feeling the weight of his guilt leave him. "That way I can finally sleep without my dick waking me up," he added.

"Oh," is all you could think to say. Your face was radiating some serious heat by now. Shane could see the blush spread from your cheeks, to your ears, all the way to your neck where his little mark on you was. His heart was beating so hard he thought he was going to collapse right then and there. He was waiting for your slap, punch, or maybe even a well-deserved kick to the balls. But it never came.

"That sounds... good."

Another bitter gust of wind hit the two of you but neither of you felt the slightest bit cold.

***

Balancing a case and a half of beer, Shane watched as you struggled for the second time this week to get the door open. This time instead of fumbling due to alcohol, you were struggling to unlock your own door due to your nerves. 

Ok, maybe the slight buzz had something to do with it too. 

Shane took the extra time to admire your ass in those faded jeans. They were beat up and dirty, but the high waisted fabric accentuated your curves. The door was finally unlocked and he took off towards your kitchen to set the beer on the counter. His hands found your waist as soon as they were free and he gave your forehead a soft peck.

"Like I said earlier, stop me if you get uncomfortable, alright?" His voice was gravelly, causing your knees to wobble. He kissed down your cheek and moved to bite your ear softly, causing you to let out a tiny whimper.

"Trust me, I've been wanting this too," you assure him, voice filled with lust. Shane let out a small seductive laugh.

"I'm still surprised you would want a guy like me. But you won't hear me complaining." His lips crashed onto yours and you kissed him back with just as much passion. Wasting no time, he untucked your top from your jeans and slid a hand up your oversized sweater. Pulling a breast out of your bra, he pinched a nipple and you gasped against his mouth. He slipped his tongue into your mouth and savored your taste.

"Hey," you whine between kisses. "Don't forget... hah... you're the one who left last time..mm."

"Don't remind me."

With one hand on his stubbled cheek, your other hand traveled under his shirt and up his back. You held him tight and dug your nails into his skin, causing him to buck his hips into yours. You broke away from his kiss and he gave you a look of letdown. You eased his worries by pushing him towards your bed in the other room. He fell back onto the mattress and your hands flew to his belt, struggling to undo it for a bit before he helped you. The two of you worked together to unfasten his cargo shorts and they were soon cast aside to be forgotten on your floor.

You gripped his dick through his boxers and admired the way his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He held himself up on his elbows and couldn't keep his eyes off of you, as if he were in a trance. You met his gaze and placed a gentle kiss on his clothed member. Shane was tempted to pinch himself. This couldn't possibly be happening, right?

You pulled his boxers down and his cock stood straight up. Your eyes went wide and you bit your lip. You boldly gave it a couple of light, teasing test strokes, hands just barely ghosting the hot skin.

Oh yeah, this was definitely happening.

"(Y/N)... take your shirt off... Please." Shane said in between gasps. You remove your sweater and unclasp your bra, making a show of your tits to his hungry gaze. Watching them sway heavily made his dick twitch and he swallowed hard.

Fueled by his need and your own, your hand returned to his cock, stroking it long and hard. Shane let out a long moan and you rewarded him with a little lick, tasting the precum at the end of his shaft. This was already better than his fantasies. Shane's brain was almost numb and he was bucking up into your hand shamefully.

"Fucking tease." Shane groaned as you took the head of his dick into your mouth and rewarded him with a hard suck. You were going to do all that you could to get him to make more sounds like that. You take more of him into your mouth and heard him make choked moans.

Shane's hand instinctively grasped at the back of your head, tangling in your hair. You immediately flinch, the gesture bringing back dark memories. Shane gives you a worried look.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

You give him an embarrassed smile. "I just... have problems with people touching my head. Maybe ease into it?"

He gave you a small smile and reached out to hold your cheek. You relaxed into his touch. 

"You're doing great... Ah, keep going please?"

With a warm smile from such an intimate gesture, you take the head of his dick back into your mouth. His hand on your cheek went rigid for a bit and then held you tighter. As you took more of his length into your mouth, he traced circles on your cheek. When you had devoured nearly his full length, he brushed the hair away from your face, causing your heart to flutter at how sweet he was being. This was a whole new experience for both of you. Casual sex like this wasn't typically so affectionate.

You pull away from his dick with a sloppy 'pop' and work your jeans off of your hips. Turning around, you made a show of slowly taking them off. Shane's eyes were fixated on the comfy-looking soft pink cotton panties you were wearing. He reached out and played with your ass, pulling your underwear up to expose more of your cheeks.

Spinning back around, you broke the contact, and Shane made a disappointed huff. You raise an eyebrow at him.

"You really like my ass, huh?" You teased him and he gave you an annoyed look. "Fine, then. Scoot back and lay down," you commanded. He obeyed your orders, curious where you planned on going with this. You shot him a dangerous smile, and crawled onto the bed until you positioned yourself above his head, facing his torso, thighs on either side of his face. Shane's eyes went wide and he moaned. While you wished you could see his face, his hands gripping desperately at your ass and the noises he made were satisfying enough. You grind lightly into his face, giving him an idea of what he was in for.

"Three pats to the thigh, if you need to breathe," you say seductively, squeezing your thighs around his head slightly. You lean forward and give his twitching cock more attention. A thick drop of precum was leaking out and you licked it up teasingly.

Shane hated to admit it, but this was one of his degenerate dreams come true. He ran his hands under your panties, spreading your ass apart, making you gasp on his dick. He ran his hands down slowly until he felt your slick, wet folds, teasing a finger into your hot, wet skin. You rewarded him with a deep suck. He couldn't help but thrust into the heat of your mouth. He was coming undone way too soon. Sooner than he wanted. Shane wished he could be like this forever, but his orgasm was threatening to cut this short.

"H-hey, (Y/N)... hnn-if you don't slow down, I'm going to-" he felt you grind into his face, muffling his voice. You took as much of him into your mouth as you could and sucked him off faster, hungry for his release. You took pleasure in the way his hips were bucking wildly and felt him slide your panties to the side and get a taste of your heat. Shane licked up and down your folds desperately while working a finger into your opening. It was all getting to be too much too fast and he was starting to feel bad for barely doing anything. You didn't care though, you just wanted to give him an unforgettable orgasm. And that was exactly what he was going to get.

Shane was getting lost in the feeling of your hot mouth engulfing his cock. It was all too perfect. His moans were getting loud and higher pitched, a stark contrast from his usual composed and gruff demeanor. You felt his movements slow and he let out a deep moan as you suddenly felt hot, salty streams of cum fill your mouth. You gave him a few long slow sucks as he rode out his climax. Once he was completely finished, you swallowed what you could and rolled off of him. You grabbed some tissues off of your nightstand and wiped your face and went to hand some to Shane. He had a dazed look in his eyes and when he saw you, he groaned, covering his face with one arm.

"Buh... I'm sorry... that was probably really disappointing," he said, his face completely red now that reality set back in. You gave him all of that and he had nothing to give you in return. You laid down next to him and brushed his arm out of his face, forcing him to look into your eyes.

"Hey now, it was pretty hot," you said, blushing at how unbelievably bold you were just minutes earlier. "You had a rough day, so I just wanted to give you what you deserve."

"Does this mean I owe you one?" Shane asked, too tired at this point to care to argue for once.

"Only if you want to."

"I do."

"Well then, feel free to return the favor on a bad day," you laughed. Shane opened his eyes to stare at you, smiling softly. Remembering he had work the next morning, his face went back to his normal grumpy look. He sat up, stretched, and let out a long groan.

"Hate to cut this short... again," he said bitterly, "but I've got JojaMart first thing in the morning."

"You're good," you say with a yawn, curling into your warm bed. Shane lingers in the doorway, fighting a soft smile, before waving you off and heading out.

When he finally returns to Marnie's, he enters his room, and crashes onto his bed. He then puts his palm on his face and sighs, realizing that he forgot the cases of beer at your place.

Oh well. That would just give him another reason to visit.


	4. Rumors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was definitely the hardest chapter to write yet! But thankfully I have a good idea where to go from here so bear with me!

It had become a custom of sorts for you and Shane to spend time together after one or both of you had a stressful day. The week after your little rendezvous together, he had appeared at your door unannounced in the early evening. Morris was being his typical dirtbag self and left Shane a tremendous list of chores he had to do while the bastard took a three hour long break. The man got under his skin and all Shane wanted was to drink until he forgot how to spell 'JojaMart'.

You were definitely shocked to see him. Surprise visits weren't his thing. You were nervous, considering for that last week, neither of you saw each other. You were too busy finishing up the fall season chores and preparing for winter while he was continuing his daily work-drink-sleep routine. Up until that point, you had convinced yourself that he got what he wanted out of you and things would go back to how they were before.

Shane greeted you and found the cases of beer sitting next to your fridge, walking past you to grab a couple cans and plop down on your couch with a long sigh. He caught you staring at him with confusion and he straightened up.

"It's been a hell of a day. Figured I would crash where my beer is... if that's alright with you, of course?" he said, wording it more like a question than anything. You smiled.

"That's more than alright with me. I was just surprised, is all."

You didn't want to tell Shane that you were just happy he wasn't drinking out in the cold. Also, you were flattered he was comfortable enough to stay with you while he ranted about his day.

After that night, the two of you exchanged cellphone numbers and you made sure to always keep at least one case of beer stocked up for him.

***

The day before Spirit's Eve, you made a trip to Marnie's ranch to purchase a couple cows and another chick so that you would at least be able to sell animal products through the winter. You were surprised to see that Shane was at home instead of work.

"I covered for Sam a couple weeks ago, so he owed me," he said with a shrug.

You figured it wouldn't be too out of the question for him to want a Friday off, but you couldn't help but wonder if he took it off because you told him you would be purchasing a chick.

"Shane, is someone here?" Marnie called out from the kitchen.

"Yeah, (Y/N)'s here to buy some animals," Shane responded.

Marnie hurried over from the kitchen, wiping the dish water off of her hands and stepped behind the counter.

"What will it be, dear?"

"I'm here to pick up a couple calves and one more chick!" you say with a big smile. You were always excited to bring more animals on your farm. You had a great fall harvest and were happy to splurge on more livestock.

"You got it, dearie! I'll drop the calves off tonight after I close up shop. Shane and I will go get your chick now."

After they made it in the coop, Marnie shut the door behind her and scanned the chicks to decide which one would go home with you. To her surprise, she saw Shane bend over and pick up a little blue chick.

"You're going to give her one of your special blue hens?" Marnie put a hand on her chest in surprise and let out an exaggerated gasp. "My, my! Has someone taken a liking to the farmer?" she teased.

Fighting back a blush, Shane put the chick safely in a little wooden basket for delivery and walked past her towards the door back inside. "You know I've been wanting to debut the hens for awhile. Why not start with her? Maybe eventually Pelican Town could even be known for the blue hens Jas and I worked hard on." He reached for the door before Marnie stopped him.

"Speaking of being popular around town," Marnie began, causing Shane to pause in curiosity. "I hear the farmer girl's been getting around." Shane's blood ran cold. He turned to meet her with a confused look. He was sure that no one knew about your hookup besides the two of you.

"Where did you hear that?"

"Talk of the town is that someone caught her with hickeys all over her neck." Shane internally rolled his eyes. It was just one. "It's gotta be someone from town because she doesn't have the time to run back and forth to the city for some fling. Now the question is who?"

Letting out an annoyed sigh, Shane said, "Does it really matter? Let's just finish what we came here for."

"My guess is on Sam. Or maybe Abigail!" Marnie giggled.

Shane felt a twinge of jealousy at the suggestion that you would be hooking up with someone else. "It could be anyone, but it's not our business, Marnie." He just wanted to send this chick home with you, but Marnie wouldn't stop the gossip train.

"Well, at least I know it's definitely not you!" Shane glared.

He fell for the bait. 

"And why not?"

"To start, you spend all of your time either working, drinking, or sleeping. Not to mention, you two are nothing alike. She's too bubbly and sweet. And you can't stand hardly anyone, especially not someone like her."

Ouch. He knew she was just trying to tease him, but she really hit him below the belt with that one.

"I'm done with this conversation." Shane finally opened the door and was met by a confused look from you. Marnie walked in with an apologetic but amused smile.

"Everything alright in there? You didn't run out of chicks, did you?"

"Nope, I was just telling Marnie that I had a couple of my blue chicks that were ready to go out. I figured you might want one of them?" You gave him a shocked look.

"Wait, how blue are we talking?" Shane brought the chick out of the little wooden basket he was holding. Your eyes went wide and you couldn't contain your gasp. "She's like a little gem!" Shane rolled his eyes and let out a small chuckle.

"If you keep comparing my chickens to rocks, you can't have her."

The pout you let out was pretty cute, Shane had to admit it.

"...Fine."

Marnie just stood back with wide eyes and watched the two of you interact so naturally. Since when were the two of you... friends? Shane glanced over at her and was almost proud to see her flabbergasted look. He knew he was going to dread her prying questions later though.

She cleared her throat, earning both of your attention. "Well, (Y/N), you're all set! Shane, why don't you help our farmer get her new chick settled in." She nudged him slightly with her elbow, startling him.

"Huh? I guess I can," he gave you a questioning look. "If you don't mind, that is." You nodded eagerly.

"That would be great, thanks! You gotta tell me more about these blue hens on the way!"

"All good, then. I'll meet you outside with everything. Give me a sec before I get going." Shane waves you off. You give Marnie an appreciative goodbye and walk out the front door.

Once in the clear, Marnie shoots Shane "the look."

"What?" Shane grumbles.

"When did you plan on telling me you and (Y/N) were buddies?" she asked.

Shane shrugged. "You know how she is. She just wants to be friends with everyone. She wore me down and now we vent to each other sometimes."

Marnie shot him a playful look.

"So, do you know who the lucky guy or gal is then?" Shane rolled his eyes and brushed her off.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he mumbled under his breath as he walked out the door.

***

"Well, looks like she's all settled in." Shane stepped back and admired your coop. Everything looked all set for winter. It was nice and warm inside the coop, thanks to the heater. The hens were in good hands. Shane had a grin from ear to ear.

"Woah, is hell freezing over? What's with the face?" you jest.

"I'm just thinking about how happy your chickens are. I'm glad to know my blue hen has a good home," he said, expression unchanged. Seeing such a happy smile on him looked good. You felt your face get warm from his compliment.

"To be fair, Robin did all the work." 

Shane's smile faded a bit. "Quit selling yourself short. Robin isn't the one feeding and caring for them. That's all you." You smiled softly. Not used to taking compliments, you stayed quiet.

Shane stretched and let out a small grunt from the action. Your eyes lingered on the skin exposed under his shirt from the action. "Buh, mind if I hang out for awhile? Marnie's been stressing me out." You raise an eyebrow at him and give one last pet to your new chick, Sapphire, before meeting Shane at the coop door.

"I mean, yeah, you can stay as long as you want, but... Marnie?"

Shane let out a long groan and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's a long story."

Once you were both inside and settled on the couch, beers in hand, Shane took a couple long gulps from his beer. You gave yours a couple of sips and waited on him to start his usual ranting, enjoying the closeness you two had grown to share over the last week. Shane finally cleared his throat.

"I'm not really sure how to go about saying this..." he began. "Marnie told me that people saw the mark I left on you." Your eyes widen.

"People know about us?"

"Well," he sighed. "That's the thing; everyone's been assuming it's someone else who gave you the hickey. Our secret's still safe."

That rubbed you the wrong way. You raise your eyebrow, eyes pointed like daggers.

"More like YOUR secret is safe."

"(Y/N)... c'mon. They're all going to forget as soon as something else happens in the valley. Stop worrying so much about what everyone else thinks." Shane takes another long gulp.

"Easy for you to say. You're not the town whore now." 

"No, but I am the asshole of the town. I just don't give a shit," Shane said bitterly. He had moved on to another can, drinking almost desperately now. Your body was shaking from anxiety and anger. You tried to calm down, but couldn't. You could feel the image you built for yourself shattering around you.

"If you don't give a shit, why didn't you just tell Marnie the truth?"

Shane gave you a cold, glassy stare. "Trust me, you don't want to be associated with me."

"Or did YOU just not want to be associated with ME?" you countered. You shrunk into yourself, creating an invisible wall between the two of you on the couch. "How am I supposed to know you aren't ashamed to be seen with me?"

Shane's head was spinning from the mix of alcohol and conflict. Seeing you stressed out was making him more stressed out. He took a drink. And another. He had done it again. He felt like all he could do was watch as another person he cared about pulled away from him.

You waited for his answer, but he had no idea what to say. You sighed and finished your can. You weren't sure why you needed his validation. This was all casual anyway. It would be different if you were in a relationship but you two were literally just friends. Who did friend things.

Friends who have dirty thoughts about each other and make out sometimes to relieve stress.

It was quiet in your house besides the occasional gulping of beer coming from the man next to you. Without looking at him you could tell he wasn't as stoic as he was trying to come off as, due to the leg he was bouncing anxiously rocking the couch. You froze at the feeling of something snaking behind you. Shane had his hand on your back, rubbing little circles, just as you did to him that night on the dock. Still rigid, you glanced over at him. He was spacing out toward the tv that wasn't on and his face was flushed. You relaxed slightly to his touch.

Despite fighting to find the right words to say, he didn't want to sit back and let you both suffer. You inhaled and held it for awhile before letting out a long sigh, feeling yourself stop shaking finally.

"I'm sorry," you start. Shane gives you a sad look, still rubbing circles into your back. "I didn't want you to feel pressured to make this more into what it really is. I just... feel cornered right now. By everyone. I felt like I was finally in a better place."

"Buh..." Shane turned to face you. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I'm ashamed of you. I'm just ashamed of myself. The last thing I want is to drag your reputation down with me." You give him a soft smile.

"Heh, it's kind of funny... we're more alike than I thought. Just try to stop putting yourself down, alright?" Shane shrugged.

"No promises. But I'll try if you do." He pulled away from you and stretched. "I'm gonna go back home, if that's okay with you. Jas wants to watch a Spirit's Eve movie with me tonight."

"Hold on a sec. Gonna need you to sober up before you go out in this weather." Shane gives you a confused look as you get up from the couch and head to the kitchen. "It's still early, let me make us some dinner, I promise you will make it back before she has to go to bed."

"I'm not one to argue with free food," he said lightly. "What do you plan on making?"

"Why, are you a picky eater or something?" you tease. He gives you a serious look. "Oh, you are, then. How about pizza? I don't know a single person who doesn't like pizza."

"Pizza would be great, actually." 

With his approval, you began assembling the ingredients and working on the dough. You encouraged Shane to drink a glass of water, and he took it with a huff, getting comfy on the couch again while he watches the Queen of Sauce make some soup he had no idea how to pronounce. He bounced back and forth between the watching the tv and watching you. When you bent over to put the pizza in the oven, his eyes lingered on the curve of your butt, catching himself biting his lip from the memories of last week.

You wipe a little sweat off of your forehead with the back of your arm and sit down next to him, this time, thighs touching. "So what do the three of you have planned for tomorrow?" Shane's eyes met yours with a bored expression and he shrugged.

"Marnie and I are going to take turns watching Jas while she goes into a sugar coma. I'll probably hang around wherever the snacks and booze are." You give him an exaggerated look.

"That's it? You're at least going to dress up, right?"

"No, I think I'm a little too old for that." He notices your face fall into a frown. He pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a small chuckle. "Oh c'mon, you are NOT dressing up, are you?" You stay silent, still pouting. Shane rolled his eyes. "What are you going as, then?"

"I don't want to tell you, now." You say playfully.

"Okay. Don't tell me. I'll just see tomorrow and judge you then." You bump against him, acting fake-mad. He takes this as a challenge and pushes you away, holding you at arm's length to try to avoid your retaliation. His efforts failed as you quickly snaked your hands around his arms and pulled his hood over his eyes.

"That's it," Shane said as he ripped his hoodie off to avoid any more dirty sneak attacks from you. You felt a slight twinge of fear at the determination in his eyes. His hands flew to yours and grasped at your wrists. You flailed your arms wildly to try and escape his grip, but he held on tight. You could feel him trying to pin your hands behind your head so you tried to fight back, but it was no use. Falling back from the force, you were now fully pinned down on the couch with your shirt riding up your stomach and blush creeping along your face from the position you were now in. Shane was victorious and his prize was the sight of you flushed and disheveled from your little play fight.

Now that he'd won, he had no idea what to do. The two of you stayed like that, staring at each other with hungry eyes until Shane leaned over to close the gap. Your lips touch and the kiss quickly grows needy. Shane adjusted you so he was pinning your wrists with just one hand while his other was trailing up the exposed skin on your torso. You spread your legs so his hips can meet yours and wrap your legs around his waist, causing him to buck into you. You let out a quiet moan that made him crave more of your touch.

As he slid his hand up to your bra, the oven started to beep, causing both of you to jump. Shane sat back up and awkwardly adjusted his erection so it wasn't so painful in his pants while you took the pizza out, both of your faces completely stained red from embarrassment. Each taking a few slices, you sat on opposite ends of the couch and watched tv in silence while you finished dinner. Neither of you wanted to bring up what just happened. It had been way too confusing of a day.

After the food was finished and put away, Shane stood by the door awkwardly, debating on how to end the night. He scratched the back of his head. "Well... today was... Umm.." he trailed off, not knowing where to go. "Buh, I'll see you tomorrow."

You squeaked out a quiet, "good night" and waved him off. He lingered for a little longer, causing your nerves to go crazy.

Shane cleared his throat. "I'll be looking forward to your costume tomorrow." He then waved before making his way home.

The moment the door closed behind him, you buried your face in your hands and let out the breath you felt yourself holding for what felt to be like the whole time. After collecting yourself, you made your way into the bathroom to clean up before you ended your night. You spent more time than usual in the shower and made sure you were as smooth and clean as you could be. You took extra care while shaving and even put lotion on before curling into bed for the night.

You were determined to put him under your spell at the festival tomorrow.


	5. Poor Little Vampire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the Spirit's Eve Festival! What kind of tricks or treats will come out of it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a little while since the last update! I just got a new job and got over being sick so I've had to balance writing with stabilizing my schedule. I tried to make this chapter on the longer side to make up for it! I hope you enjoy!

It was the day of the Spirit's Eve Festival. You woke up early and knocked out your daily chores as quickly as you possibly could. There was just too much that you had to get ready before this evening. You mentally kicked yourself for being so ambitious this season, practically running down the rows of corn, emptying your watering can along the way. It took way longer than you liked. 

By the time you squared away the last egg in the shipment box, it was a little after 1 pm. You made yourself a quick meal and wolfed it down just as fast. You were in the shower rinsing the sweat out of your hair before you could finish chewing the last of your reheated pizza. Double checking your work from the previous night, you cleaned up a couple spots you missed from shaving.

After you hopped out of the shower and gave your hair a thorough towel dry, you started slipping into tonight's attire. Despite getting tangled a couple times, you felt pretty good about the costume after you were all suited up. But it wasn't complete until you finished your hair and makeup. You took as much time as you needed blending your eye shadow and perfecting your eyeliner.

Back when you lived in the city, you had played around with makeup quite a bit. On the farm, however, there was no point in wearing makeup when it would just wear off from the sweat and tears you shed every day. You were happy to find out you didn't lose any of the skills you spent years learning. Your eyeliner was sharp and clean, making you feel more like a bad bitch than you ever had. You give the mirror a sassy look after you top the whole look off with dark, wine red lipstick.

The hair was a little more difficult to master, but the spirits must've been happy because you were able to get them to hold in soft curls. You were unable to recognize the woman in the mirror. Just the way you liked it.

You check the time. The festival started in a couple hours. You set your makeup and made sure to dowse yourself in your favorite perfume. Before sitting on your couch to anxiously marinate in your perfume, you opened the chest by your bed and pulled out your only sunstone, feeling a wave of confidence wash over you. You always went to your stones when you needed an energy boost and they never failed you. Whether it was all just a placebo effect or real healing, you didn't care. You loved your rocks and you could use all the good energy you could get.

  
***

  
Shane watched as Jas bounced around the room excitedly. If she was this excited now, he could only imagine how wild she would get when they actually got to the party. She ran over to his seat at the table and lightly tapped her wand on his nose, earning an exhausted huff from him.

"Whatcha think, Uncle Shane?" Jas twirled to show off her sparkly purple dress and wings fashioned to her back.

"Princess again?" Shane teased. "I thought you said you were trying something new this year?"

"I'm a FAIRY princess this year!" She pouted and smacked him on the head with her wand. "POOF!" she yelled as she pulled Shane's hood over his head and pulled the strings, causing him to get swallowed in the fabric of his tattered hoodie.

"Where did I go?" Shane asked, voice sounding bored despite him loving this little moment he and Jas shared.

"Hang on, hang on... aaaaand TA-DA!" She forcefully ripped the hood off of his head, pulling some hair and an "OUCH" out of him. Marnie peaked around the corner at the sound of his yelp.

"Jas, play nice, dear!"

"I am, Aunt Marnie!" Shane rolled his eyes with a lopsided smile, still rubbing the back of his head.

Once Marnie was all ready, they set out for the town, Jas bouncing ahead of them and falling back every time they reminded her to stay close. Shane felt a buzzing coming from his pocket. His phone hadn't gone off in such a long time so the unfamiliar buzz caught him off guard. He fished the device out of his pocket and unlocked it, momentarily wincing as the bright light blinded him in the dark. When his eyes finally adjusted he saw one new message.

**Y: Ha! I'm not the only one who dressed up! ;p**

Shane rolled his eyes and fought a losing battle trying to hold back his smile.

**S: Vincent and Jas don't count, you know?**

While Shane waited for your inevitable annoying response, Marnie poked him in the side, startling him enough to drop his phone in the soft grass.

"Are you... _texting_ someone?" she questions, as if it was completely out of the realm of possibility. Shane reached down and picked his phone up from the ground, giving Marnie a pointed look.

"I pay my phone bill, might as well," Shane responded sarcastically. He felt the buzz again as you sent your reply. Marnie gives him a couple solid pats on his shoulder.

"I can watch Jas tonight if you want to hang out with your friends," she says with a soft, motherly smile. Shane gives her a guilty look.

"You already do so much for her, you should take the night off," he responds. Marnie just shakes her head.

"I haven't seen you spend time with your friends since the two of you moved in. It'll be fine."

Shane unlocked his phone and smiled softly.

**Y: Don't make me put a spell on you >:c**

"I really appreciate it, Marnie," he lets out quietly as the three of them made it into town. Jas ran back and grabbed Shane by the sleeve to pull him to the skeletons that were on display. He had to admit, they were pretty realistic. Jas pushed him up to the cage and hid behind him as she studied the paranormal creatures. Shane had a lopsided grin on his face as he watched her pull her wand out and pretend to cast a spell on the monster. The skeleton creaked and stumbled slowly in their direction and Shane found himself being pulled away just as fast as he had arrived.

This had been the most excited he had seen Jas in awhile. He found it hard to fight the smile he had on his face as she dragged him from place to place. Marnie had been trying to keep up with them, but Shane insisted this was fine. She promised to take her turn with Jas as soon as he met up with his party. For now, Shane was perfectly content watching the little girl bounce around and shriek at the occasional scary decoration. He was having quite a bit of fun watching his goddaughter run around and be her typical curious self. But at the back of his mind, he was wondering where you were and how he hadn't seen you yet.

After grabbing a quick cookie from the snack table, Jas encouraged him to join her for the maze. He, of course, had to oblige. He followed her into the maze, making sure to hold her hand so she wouldn't get lost without him. With every winding turn, Shane got more anxious. Mazes were stressful to him. They reminded him of his own constant dead ends and feelings of being lost.

"AH! SPIDER!!" Jas screeched, tugging so hard on Shane's hoodie it almost choked him.

"Jas, it's not real. It's just a decoration," he said with a flat tone. They quickly rushed by the spider, anticipating it to jump out at them, but it never did. Thankfully.

They turned another corner quickly and Jas let out another shriek at the sight of the bones and skulls poking out of the ground. Shane kneeled down and turned her around to face him so he could try to calm her down.

"They're not real either, just decorations to make it spooky. You're gonna be fine." Jas relaxed slightly at this. Shane thought it would be best to take her back to Marnie now, Jas probably wasn't ready to take on such scary decor at this age, no matter how tough she tried to be. Shane felt a buzz in his pocket again and assumed it was you wondering where he was. Jas's eyes went wide.

"Uncle Shane! There's a witch behind you!!" she yelped and hid her face in his shoulder. Shane rolled his eyes.

"Jas, I told you, they're not real-"

"BOO!"

Shane let out an embarrassing shout and turned around quickly to give whoever scared the two of them a piece of his mind. Except when he saw the culprit, he was robbed of the words he wanted to say.

The first thing he noticed was well defined legs covered in fishnet tights. His eyes trailed off until they were met with the hem of your red and black dress. It was way too short in the front but fell longer in the back. It had a lace corset halter top that complemented your curves and put your chest on display. You had long lace gloves on and a choker. Your makeup was dark and fierce and Shane caught himself staring at your wine red lips. Your hair looked soft and wavy and was topped with a tiny witch hat, in case people couldn't figure out what you were dressed up as.

This was bad.

"Shane, you good?" you asked, kneeling down to get on eye level with him. You caught his eyes trail back up your thighs when you crouched down and a sense of thrill washed over you.

Shane fought himself to find words but all he could get out was, "You... me.. good? Um." He felt like running away but you didn't tease him for stuttering, so that was a plus.

"Jas, I love your dress! It's so pretty," you gush, making Jas calm back down and get timid again. She still stood behind Shane but managed to mumble a small "thanks."

"Uncle Shane, I don't want to do the maze anymore," she whispered into his ear. Shane pulled himself together and stood back up, grabbing her hand and giving you an apologetic look. You gave him an understanding smile.

"Don't worry, I know the way out, follow me." You led the two of them toward the exit. Once you were back at the beginning, Jas caught sight of Marnie and took off in her direction. Marnie gave Shane a thumbs up, signalling that she would be taking over Jas-duty, causing him to breathe a sigh of relief.

You lean in close to Shane, making him shiver. "I actually wanted to see if I could reach the end. You don't have to come if you don't-"

"I'll go," Shane said before he knew he was even speaking. Your face lights up and Shane couldn't help the small smile that gave him. 

You both went back into the maze, trying your best to avoid the obstacles and dead ends. Turning another corner, you found yourself at a dead end with nothing but a large, old static television. You approached it slowly, waiting for something, anything, to pop out from behind it to scare you. The closer you got to it, the more you found yourself gravitating towards Shane. 

The moment you made it to the tv and tried to look behind it, you felt a hand on your shoulder, invoking a shriek out of you. You yank Shane's arm roughly and hide behind him, pressing yourself close against his back. Peeking over his shoulder, you see Emily staring at you with a surprised expression, trying to contain wild laughter. She was dressed as a pirate, complete with a head scarf and eye patch.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, (Y/N)," she said in between giggles. "Ok, maybe I wanted to scare you a tiny bit!" She pinched her fingers together for emphasis.

You relax and back away from Shane. He looks over his shoulder at you with an unreadable expression. Was he upset that she caught the two of you together?

You let out an anxious laugh. "You're all good, Emily. I shouldn't be spending so much time at a dead end anyway if I want to make it to the end!" She gave you a slightly puzzled expression and glanced over at Shane, making him tense, before giving the two of you a soft smile. "I better hurry before the festival ends, catch you later!" You walk past her and wave before turning the corner. Emily shouted a quick compliment on your costume as you walked away, hoping you heard her.

Shane begins to follow, but stops when Emily begins to speak. "How long do you plan on trying to hide it from everyone?" 

"Hide what?" He tries to play stupid but she wasn't buying it.

"You haven't been frequenting the saloon as much ever since the two of you left together the other night," she says as if it happened yesterday. "Not to mention, everyone's been talking about how the farmer's been branded," she teased. Shane narrowed his eyes and looked away, blush painting his face. "You have so much chemistry together! I can tell she likes you, so why hide it?"

"How would you know about our chemistry after you saw us drink together one night two weeks ago?" Shane scoffed, trying to avoid the question. Emily gives him a knowing look.

"The aura the two of you give off is so similar."

Shane let out a bitter chuckle. "Yeah, you lost me there. Even if I believed in that aura junk, there's no way (Y/N) and I are alike. This is casual. Hence why we don't want the whole town to know. That's it." Emily pouted but kept silent, not wanting to push it anymore. He nodded his head towards her and turned the corner to try to find you.

  
***

  
Another dead end.

You couldn't help but feel frustrated. At everything. All you did was fuck up. You shouldn't have gone out tonight. You made Shane uncomfortable with your presence. You knew he wasn't ready and you forced it. You couldn't even find the end of the maze.

You stewed in your negative thoughts until you head a twig break behind you. Heart beating harshly, you turned to find Shane behind you with his hands up, trying to de-escalate the situation. You let out a sigh and try to calm your heart.

"(Y/N)... Is everything ok?" he asked, seeing your pained face and posture the moments before scaring you. You avoid his gaze but chuckle, rubbing your arm.

"Yeah, I'm just mad that I couldn't find the end. I heard there was a really good prize. Oh well..." you bluffed. Shane gave you the slightest of smiles.

"Marnie called me and said she took Jas home. She said the girl was practically falling asleep while standing. Wish I could've seen it." You smiled at the way he laughed while talking about his goddaughter. Your smile made him feel warm and he kicked himself for feeling that way. A small breeze cooled him off immediately, reminding everyone that winter was well on its way. He caught you gripping your arms tighter and noticed you had goosebumps. "We should find our way out and head back to your place," he said quietly, making you shiver more. "You look like you could use warmed up."

"I-I'm not cold," you said, chattering teeth giving you away. Shane gave you an amused look while the two of you find your way back to the entrance to the maze. It seemed like the majority of the town had left already with just a few people staying behind to clean up. You offered Robin your help, but she insisted that you get home before you freeze. After saying your goodbyes and grabbing a couple snacks leftover on the table, you and Shane took the road back to the farm.

"I don't get it," you start. "Does my costume not look warm or something?" Shane took the opportunity while they were alone to look you up and down. He drank in the sight of your cleavage pushed up from the corset and your thick thighs hugged firmly by fishnet tights. He swallowed thickly.

"It's a wonder," he said sarcastically, causing you to pout. A more aggressive gust of wind rocked the both of you, wracking your body with shivers. Shane took his hoodie off in a hurry and wrapped it around you. He grabbed your waist from under the jacket and you picked up your pace on the way home. You took in his warmth and scent, hating feeling your stomach do a flip.

It wasn't too much longer before you both made it inside of your little farm house. You rushed to the fireplace to light it and stayed next to the fire for awhile to warm up. You caught Shane standing by the door awkwardly watching you and beckoned him over. He grabbed a beer and sat next to you, eyes following your legs up until they disappeared under the shortest part of your dress skirt. He lost himself in the memory of your thighs smothering his face and felt his pants tighten.

"You know..." you say, smirking at how he was visibly jolted out of his little daydream you caught him in. "I'm a little disappointed you didn't dress up tonight." He rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm. You would've made a pretty good looking vampire." Shane scoffed.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, I know first hand just how good you are at sucking on necks," you said bravely. His eyes clouded over with lust and he leaned in closer to you.

"I never believed in magic," he whispered, breath hot against your ear, "but you always seem to have me under your spell." You normally would have laughed at such a cheesy pun, but a nibble to your earlobe made you let out a quiet moan instead. Shane pulled back, leaving you frozen in his gaze. He held the side of your face for a moment before bringing his hand down to lightly trace down your neck, over your collarbone, and stop at the curve of your breast, right above the neckline of your dress. Your breath caught in your throat as he traced the fabric and then grasped a boob roughly.

"I-I'm still cold," you lied. You were burning hot. "We should take this to my room. Wh-where there's blankets." Shane gave your breast another squeeze in agreement. He rose and then helped you up. The moment you both entered your room, you slammed the door shut and spun around to crash your lips onto his. You led him back to the edge of the bed where he sat down. You kicked a leg up to straddle him, making him moan when you rested your weight on his lap.

While his mouth hung open, you gave a soft nibble to his bottom lip while grinding hard against him. His hands rested over your dress on your ass, giving you encouraging squeezes every time you rubbed against him. You sucked on his lip hard, pulling back roughly and then letting go. He let out a grunt.

"Mmm, sorry. I'm getting carried away," you say, taking in his lipstick and kiss stained lips. He ran his hands under the skirt of your dress and squeezed your ass again, this time with just your underwear and tights in the way.

"Ah- I don't care," he moaned. "It's only fair." You pull his shirt over his head and your lips smashed against his neck, kissing him roughly, leaving a trail of smeared lipstick down to his collarbone, where you bit down. He let out a quiet whine and bucked his hips as you marked him where he could easily hide it.

Compromise.

When you pulled away from his now-bruised skin, his hands found their way to your tits squeezing hard and trying to pull the tight fabric off to no avail. He let out a frustrated grunt. "This dress needs off. Now." You slid off of his lap and made a show of taking your long lace gloves off before finally undoing the corset top of your dress. After the dress was off, you went to take the fishnet tights off but he stopped you. He stood up and guided you on the bed so that you were face down and ass on full display for him. 

He undid his pants and kicked them off along with his boxers. He stroked himself shamelessly, taking in the sight of your black lace thong. He pulled at it a bit, making you whimper at the increased pressure on your clit.

"No wonder you were so cold," Shane said teasingly. He came up behind you and grabbed your hip with one hand and guided his member over your clothed crotch with the other. You let out a whine and pushed back against him. He took the hint and pulled your tights and thong down slowly. You shiver slightly at the cool air hitting your wetness, but that was quickly replaced by Shane's hot breath on your most intimate area. He gave your slit a tantalizingly slow lick from your clit to your opening, savoring your taste. Your soft moan spurred him on, licking circles around your entrance while massaging your little bundle of nerves with his thumb.

You were in bliss, angling your hips to help guide him to the places you wanted him to reach the most. You whined as he pulled away, only to replace his tongue with a curious finger. He gave your clit chaste kisses while his finger dipped in ever so slightly, teasing you. Suddenly, he sank two fingers into your heat, drawing out a long moan from you, muffled by the bed. He held them in you for awhile, while his other hand stroked his dick to the feeling of your tight walls clenching around his digits.

You spread your legs, encouraging him to go deeper, and he obliged. He started moving his fingers in slow, agonizing pumps.

"Shane... faster please," you whined. He felt his heart skip a beat when he heard his name roll off of your tongue.

"Anything for you, (Y/N)," he grunted, picking up the pace and returning his tongue to your clit. You got lost in the feeling of him pleasuring you and felt yourself quickly approaching your climax.

"M-more... please.." you moaned.

"More what, pumpkin?" Shane let the pet name slip, but couldn't bring himself to care in the moment. Meanwhile, your stomach did a flip at the name and your face grew hot.

"I want you to fuck me," you say softly. Shane froze. So much was happening. But he knew that he wanted it.

"I didn't bring protection, sorry..." Shane kicked himself for being unprepared. He hadn't needed condoms for a long while now. And it's definitely not a good idea to buy condoms in town. That's just asking people to be in your business.

"That's alright," you say, shaking him from his thoughts and bringing him back to the present. "I'm on birth control anyway, no worries." Shane's heart was racing. "But you don't have to if you don't want to." 

"I do want to," he said in a hushed voice. He removed his fingers and readjusted the both of you so you were on your back and he was on the bed. He lined his dick up with your heat, rubbing the head up and down your folds. Shane watched your face scrunch up while you bucked against him impatiently.

"Has it been awhile?" he asked softly, bringing you back to reality for a moment.

"Since last winter," you respond. "How long for you?" He hummed and lined the head up to your opening.

"It's been a few years," he admitted. "I just want you to know... I don't just do this with anyone."

Before you could reply, he locked eyes with you and pushed himself in slowly. He gave you a strained look and you ran your hand through the back of his hair, pulling him in for a kiss. He grunted against your mouth when he was fully sheathed within you. You moaned into his lips from the pleasure of feeling full. The two of you stayed like that for awhile as you both adjusted to one another. You made out slowly while you played with his hair. Shane, in turn, had a hand gripping your hip while the other was on your cheek.

He could almost feel his walls being brought down. It was frightening to him. He felt like he still barely knew you. He had come out of his shell against his will and was terrified, yet exhilarated.

No.

He can't be thinking like this. This was casual. Just a couple friends helping each other out.

Just...

"Sh-Shane... mmm.. move please?"

...friends.

Fuck.

He pulled out slowly and thrust back in with more force. Shane set a pace that wasn't too fast, but was plenty intense. With every thrust, you gasped against his mouth, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You wrapped your legs around his torso, giving him just the right angle that was making you see stars. The new position allowed him to thrust deeper into you and he was getting lost in your tight wet walls.

Losing himself to the pleasure, he broke away from your kiss to bury his head in your shoulder, sucking and biting at the skin while his hips bucked out of control. The hand that was in his hair traveled down his back, curling nails into his skin. Your other hand went for your clit. You could feel the pressure within you building. It wasn't too much longer before Shane felt his climax quickly approaching.

"Ah.. (Y/N)... I'm... ah-I'm going to..hmphh" he said between gasps for air. He felt your legs tightening around him.

"Don't you... heh.. dare pull out," you moaned into his ear, biting the sensitive skin.

That alone was enough to send him over the edge. He let out a strangled moan and his thrusts slowed as he filled you up with his cum. You rubbed desperate circles into your clit and the pressure you felt building inside of you spilled over. You dug your nails into Shane's back while you filled his ears with a symphony of whimpers and mewls.

It was quiet for a long time while both of you came down from the post-orgasm high. The only noises in the room were your pants as you both tried to calm yourselves down. You were the first one to open your eyes and really take in the situation. Shane's hand was still caressing your cheek while his head was buried into your shoulder. His thumb was moving idly against your skin and you felt like you could just drift off to sleep right there.

Shane finally pulled himself out of you, giving you a weird feeling of emptiness. He rolled over so he was no longer weighing you down and faced you. The two of you scanned each other and took in the damage. He was smeared in wine red lipstick and littered with hickeys and bite marks from the shoulder down. His lips were red and slightly bruised from your bites and you were sure he had scratch marks trailing his back. Your makeup was smudged to hell and you had a nasty bruise on your shoulder where he bit down.

There was no going back now. Shane searched your face, waiting for the look of disgust, but it never came. You gave him a warm smile and reached out to push his dark hair away from his eyes. He blushed hard at the intimate gesture and tore his eyes away from you in apprehension.

"We should clean up," he said in a low whisper. You hummed in agreement and took the first turn in the bathroom. He was up next after you were finished and spent a long time looking at himself in the mirror. He knew he was a mess but... wow. He ran a hand through his hair as he took in how many smeared kisses and bites he had, committing it to memory. He decided to wash what he can now, but he would definitely need a long shower in the morning.

When he re-entered the bedroom, he saw you curled up in bed with the blankets pulled back. You patted the empty spot beside you. He was prepared to have to walk home after this, so it caught him off guard. He weighed his options, but decided to take you up on the offer, since he didn't have work the next morning.

Shane crawled under the sheets and you immediately cuddled up against him. You knew that in the morning, things would more than likely resume to how they were before. But for now, you were going to enjoy the rest of your night together. You held him close to you, breathing in his scent. He attempted to pet your head but you flinched. He pulled his hand away and settled for resting it on your waist instead. He wondered what the issue was with it, but didn't want to sour the mood for now.

It wasn't long before you fell asleep, your soft breaths lulling Shane to sleep before his eyes flew open.

Shit.

He left his beer in front of the fireplace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, things sure got hot and heavy. I hope this chapter was worth the wait!
> 
> Also!!! I just want to say I am FLOORED by how many sweet comments you guys have left for me! I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart! I went into this fic just wanting to write because I missed it and I loved reading. I wanted more Shane/Reader content and had so many ideas. I draw as well, but I've been going through some rough art block, so writing has been an amazing thing to do when I'm feeling inspired but my hand doesn't want to work. I never expected to have so many sweet people leaving comments. I just wanted another creative outlet. I want to say thank you so much to everyone who's read and left kudos or comments! <3


	6. Rage is a Quiet Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ABUSE/VIOLENCE WARNING IN THE BEGINNING!! FEEL FREE TO SKIP! DON'T PUT YOURSELF THROUGH THAT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO! <3
> 
> Sorry it's been awhile since the last update! This was probably the hardest chapter to write and got scrapped several times! I've also had ideas for a second fic! I would've preferred to finish this one first before working on the other, but I needed to get it out so maybe you'll see it soon? Who knows? I hope you all enjoy!

_"I love you so much, (Y/N)..."_

_Words that used to make you feel warm left you empty._

_"I would give the world for you. Why wouldn't you do the same for me?"_

_The world you were given... Was it meant to be appreciated? Were you supposed to be thankful?_

_You were just a child._

_"You're so lucky to have me. No one else could put up with you."_

_Oh._

_"No one else could love you."_

_Why did she say these things to you?_

_You were just a child._

_"Push me away all you want. I'll still be here."_

_"All you do is hurt me. I would never hurt you. He just wants the best for you."_

_"You did this to yourself."_

_Stop._

_"Crybaby."_

_Tears still streamed down your face. The fist in your hair tightened painfully. You choked back a sob._

_"This is your fault. You did this."_

_You just wanted your dad._

_"He will never love you like I do. I can't wait for you to grow up and see for yourself."_

_You couldn't wait either. Oh how you dreamed it would all just end. Who could stop you from just giving up? It seemed so easy._

_"You're too sensitive. The real world won't be so kind to you as I have."_

_Bruises. SLAM. Pain. Blood._

_You fought the hands that were crawling up your sides._

_"(Y/N)!"_

_Hands covered your body. They tightened until you couldn't breathe. You felt yourself breaking. All you could hear was your own choked screams._

***

"(Y/N)!"

You fought back as strong arms held you down. The soreness and pain you felt in your body left you in a panic.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

That voice sounded familiar.

Wait.

Shane.

Your eyes flew open and instantly locked with dark green ones, wide and desperate. Your blood ran cold and you stilled.

Oh Yoba. What have you done?

Shane was silent. He loosened his grip slightly and gave you a little more space. His face was still twisted with worry. You turned your head to avoid any more eye contact with him as you fought back tears and tried to swallow that stinging lump that had formed in the back of your throat. You were mortified.

"Everything's alright. You're here. I'm here. We're good, ok?" Shane affirmed. He had no idea if he was doing anything right. But he wanted to help if he could.

You took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry," you started, still avoiding any and all eye contact. "I must've had a bad nightmare..." You sat up against the headboard of the bed and wrapped blankets around yourself before pulling your knees close. Shane followed your motions and turned to face you.

"What happened?" You sat on the question for a moment. How much should you tell him?

"I just have bad nightmares. I thought they were under control at least but... Ah, I'm so sorry." You hid your face in your arms.

"I feel like there's more to it." Shane recalled how jumpy you had been when he had his fingers in your hair. "You can tell me. You're always letting me vent to you, I could at least be able to do the same, (Y/N)..." You remained rigid for a long time before sighing. Turning your head to meet his gaze, you gave him a small smile that didn't feel genuine behind tired eyes.

"Thanks, Shane. I appreciate it." Shane waited for your explanation but felt disappointment wash over him when you stayed silent. He understood that you were under no obligation to give him your life story. But he could see the pain in your face. He had been so caught up in tearing his own walls down that he didn't even consider the possibility that you would have some of your own. You could feel the tension too, but were thankful he didn't press you for any more information. "I'll make us breakfast. Feel free to use the bathroom to clean up."

Shane wanted to argue, but knowing the state he was in, he just mumbled a quick 'thanks' and took off for the bathroom. Your chest tightened at his sudden coldness, but you tried to focus on getting dressed and starting breakfast. You decided on using up the last of your hot peppers with scrambled eggs and pancakes to balance out the spice from the peppers. As reached into your fridge, you felt a small wave of ease come over you at the sight of your hard work. Despite your many fuck ups, you could still stock your refrigerator with fresh food. While you were happy your older chicken, Pearl, was producing eggs, you were eager for Sapphire and your new calves, Mootilda and Nestle, to reach adulthood. No matter how down you were, you still had your grandpa's farm. Right?

The door squeaked open and out came Shane, still damp from his shower and only in a towel. You couldn't help staring at his dark hair, tousled and messy from towel drying. Your stomach dropped when he made eye contact with you. He awkwardly hurried back to the bedroom to grab his clothes and you could swear he was blushing. You weren't sure why he had anything to blush about considering the two of you had gotten pretty familiar with each other's bodies the night before. But there was much more light now than there was last night, giving you a better view of his chest and hips...

Ok, now you were blushing.

You hurried and brought yourself back to scrambling the eggs and flipping the first of the pancakes. As you were putting the finishing touches on breakfast, you could hear Shane coming up behind you. He had to admit, it smelled pretty damn good. And he may or may not have been thrilled to see eggs AND hot peppers scrambled into one.

"Smells good," he remarked, taking note of how you didn't acknowledge his comment. "Sorry for giving you the cold shoulder earlier." He saw you relax a bit and walked beside you, noticing your sudden pained expression.

"Don't apologize. I'm the one who should be sorry for attacking you this morning," you mumbled bitterly as you began plating the food. You tensed back up when you felt Shane's hand resting on your shoulder.

"Why don't we agree that neither of us should apologize? The real problem right now is how the hell I'm going to fit all this food in my stomach." You couldn't help the smile creeping across your lips or the tears prickling your eyes. You always had a feeling Shane had a softness about him, but for him to be the one to cheer you up? The man who used to call you annoying any time you tried to talk to him? You truly felt like you didn't deserve him.

The two of you sat at the table and began to dig into your meal. You made sure to drown your pancakes in your fresh maple syrup, to which Shane made a disgusted face. He gathered the perfect balance of egg and pepper onto his fork and took a bite. You couldn't help letting the face he made fuel your ego.

"Wow, you may be a pitiful drinker but you make some damn good eggs," Shane said with a twinkle in his eyes as he took another bite. "Woman after my own heart," he mumbled with his mouth full. Eating quietly, you fought back the blush that was threatening to dominate your cheeks.

"Huh, so that's all your looking for in a partner? Fast drinker and skilled egg chef?" you teased. Shane averted his gaze.

"I wouldn't really say I'm looking," he said distantly. "I'm not exactly someone worth loving. But if I was, I'm sure I'd be easy to please." He smiled softly and glanced back at you. You nearly choked on your pancakes and felt your heart rate pick up.

"I... I'm in the same boat as you," you began. Shane gave you a puzzled look. "I've been... through some tough shit." You took a deep breath. He deserved to know what he was getting himself into. "The people who were supposed to protect and love me didn't. I spent my whole life wondering what was so wrong with me that they would..." you cleared your throat. "I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready to love or be loved. But if that day were to come, all I want is someone who will never hurt me." Your voice quivered at the end of your sentence and all Shane could do was study your face. He was beginning to piece you together, but he had to hear you say it.

"(Y/N)... does this have to do with your nightmares?" Shane noticed your eyes trailing to your plate as you pushed your remaining eggs around the plate. That all but confirmed it to him.

You opened your mouth to answer, but were cut off by the sound of your cellphone ringing from the counter. Shane sighed as you excused yourself from the table. He took note of the way you hesitated before picking up.

"Hi mom," you answered, voice straining.

Shane felt a pit growing in his stomach.

"Hey honey, I haven't spoken to you in so long. Did you move to the farm to forget about me or something?" She played it off as though she was teasing you, but you knew there was venom behind her words.

"I've just been busy."

"I have a hard time believing that. You were always so lazy." You bit your cheek in anger. "Maybe Rob and I will have to come over and see for ourselves."

"No!" you shouted desperately. Shane jumped at your sudden tone change. You tried to ignore both the worry on his face and the silence on the other end of the line. Your face was heating up and you felt your head start to spin.

"Really, (Y/N)."

You stayed silent, knowing what was to come.

"I hope when you have a daughter you do everything in your power to make her happy. When she and your husband reject you, I hope you don't come crying to me. But I guess before we worry about that, you should worry about finding someone who will put up with your disrespect."

You wanted to argue but she hung up before you could stick up for yourself.

Like always.

Overwhelmed with a mixture of pain and anger, you gripped your phone tightly, staring at the device as if waiting for it to apologize to you for what you just had to endure. Shane uncomfortably shifted in the dining room chair before deciding to gather the plates and silverware to be washed. As he approached, you let out a shaky sigh. Without a word, you took the dishes and began to wash them silently, the water rushing from the tap being the only noise in the still farmhouse. It was all Shane could do to watch quietly. He felt almost out of place, like he was seeing something he wasn't meant to witness. 

You broke the silence. "I should get to my farm work. It's the last day of fall, so I have a lot to do." Shane followed you out of the kitchen and into the living room, where you gathered your tools. You reached into the other chest beside the one that held your tools and looked for something to help you calm down. Normally when you felt like this, you would rely on your prized amethyst to help you stay balanced. But that was probably somewhere under Abigail's pillow at the moment and you had no intentions of asking for it back. You would just have to spend most of your winter mining, you decided.

After watching you desperately find what you needed, Shane cleared his throat. "I can help you with the animals if you'd like, (Y/N)." Your heart involuntarily fluttered at his offer. You wanted to shoot him down and be alone but you really did have a lot to do with winter fast approaching.

"Shane..." you began, "you really don't have to. I don't deserve this..." Shane knew those words all too well. Maybe Emily was right after all about the two of you being similar.

"I help Marnie all the time. It's really no big deal."

"I know, but-"

"No buts. Unless you're talking about ass butts, which I learned I don't mind at all, I'm not gonna hear it," he cringed at how lame that was of him to say, but it earned a small smile from you. "Besides, I... care about you. And I know you've done the same for me quite a few times now."

With tears threatening to spill over, you turned your head away to hide your face. Shane closed the space between the two of you and pulled you in for a warm embrace. You were still for a moment, until a single choked sob broke through your lungs, causing both of you to flinch.

"I'm sorry... I'm such a crybaby..." Shane held you tighter, one arm wrapped around your waist, while the other was rubbing circles on your back.

"Don't be sorry. I want to hear you let it all out," he mumbled, face resting on your head so your hair muffled his words a bit. 

You didn't disappoint. It was like all of your stress and sadness had come to a boiling point, and everything began to spill over. You clutched his old Joja hoodie tight and buried your head into his shoulder as the sobs shook your body. You had been forced to hold it all in for as long as you can remember. It was jarring and embarrassing to be this open. But you also felt relief that you had someone who respected your feelings.

"I'm not sure what you're going through (Y/N), but I'm here. Just like you've been there for me," Shane said softly.

"I don't deserve a friend like you..." 

Shane bit his lip at the word 'friend'. Why did it sting every time he heard it? Neither of you were interested in dating.

Right?

He hummed in response and continued to hold you until your sobs slowed into occasional whimpers. He felt a hot tear of his own creep slowly down his cheek. In his efforts to cheer you up, he had almost forgotten the mess of his own life. After today, his routine would go back to work, drink, sleep, and staying a disappointment. While he found himself craving your company more and more over the last couple of weeks, he knew that if this kept up, it would end in disaster, just like everything else in his life.

Your words from earlier echoed in his head.

_"All I want is someone who will never hurt me."_

Shane knew he couldn't be that person for you. All he did was hurt others. He hurts Jas and Marnie every day with his drinking and attitude. He can't even live his day-to-day life without hurting his little makeshift family, who was he to think he could get away with not fucking you up too? He was definitely way in over his head.

But for now, he hung on to the warmth of your body and the smell of your hair while he committed it to memory.

At least he could do this right.

  
***

  
When you were finished sorting through what crops you would ship and which ones you would keep, you decided to check up on Shane who was spending extra time in the coop. When you found him, he was crouched down, hand feeding Pearl some corn while Sapphire slept beside him. You stood in the doorway and admired the soft scene in front of you for awhile before making your presence known.

"You should totally quit Joja and work for me as my chicken guy," you giggled. Shane looked over his shoulder at you and shrugged.

"Don't tempt me unless you can pay me enough for my rent," he retorted. You stepped quietly towards him as to not wake Sapphire up and sat next to him, shoulder lightly pressed against his arm.

"Hmmm, I might not be able to match your pay, but I can make you breakfast every morning!"

Shane just grumbled bitterly in response. That sounded like a dream to him, but knowing you were just playing left a sour taste in his mouth. Sensing his mood change, you decided to drop the topic.

"But really, the chickens seem to like you way more than you like me," you said, nudging him softly.

"I don't blame them, honestly," Shane said bluntly, "You named them after rocks, for Yoba's sake. Poor things." You gave him the side-eye and caught a little cocky smirk threatening his lips.

"Again with the rocks," you whined, rolling your eyes. "Excuse me for finding beauty in places people are too scared to look." He gave you a thoughtful look at that.

"You're really serious bout them, huh. Why?" he asked. Your eyes trailed off to the corner of the coop, resting on a single rafter with cobwebs hidden in the shadows. Thinking for awhile you found your answer.

"You'll probably find this really weird and judge the shit out of me," you started, "but I like their energy." Shane just stared at you, waiting for more detail than just that. "It's been thought that they have healing or protective properties to them. Now, you're free to believe it or not, but I feel it. I used to have a bunch of gems that I would use to help me, but I gave most of them away to Abigail or Emily." He hummed and nodded his head.

"So what's your favorite?" The question caught you off guard, but you were eager to share if he was willing to listen. Shane smiled softly when he saw your wide grin.

"It's probably a tie between amethyst and rose quartz! They're both beautiful gems to begin with but rose quartz is the gem for unconditional love and emotional healing and amethysts help with dissolving negative emotions and addiction. I actually plan on going back to the mines during the winter and trying to find more, because I've been feeling so off balance lately." Coming back to reality, you realized you had been info-dumping quite a bit. "Sorry, I just really love gemstones hehe..." Shane shook his head.

"I can't say I believe in all of that, but it makes you happy. I'm kind of jealous. The only thing I have to help me is beer," he said sadly.

"That's not exactly true though," you countered. "You have your chickens. I can tell you care about them a lot! There's also Jas and Marnie, they love you, I'm sure. And then there's me... I care about you." You wanted him to look you in the eyes to see how serious you were, but he kept his gaze locked on Pearl sitting comfortably in front of him.

"Is it... ugh," he grunted before continuing. "Is it bad that... even with all of that... I'm still not happy?" Shane slumped over more and shifted his weight so you no longer had contact with him. "I never thought I'd make it this far. And what do I have to prove for it? A dead-end job in a dead-end town and alcohol dependency. My best friends died and left me with their daughter that I can't even take care of on my own." The longer he went on, the harder it was to listen to.

"Shane... You've been through so much though. You're stronger than a lot of people." You reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, but he stood up instead, stretching his sore muscles.

"Strong? Yeah right," he muttered, words coated in venom. "Do you have any idea how often I drink myself into the void, hoping I don't wake up? Or how many trips I make to the cliffs dreaming about the day I'm 'strong' enough to just end it all?" You stood quickly and followed him as he made his way to the door.

"Shane, I-"

"(Y/N), look, there's a reason why neither of us opened up until now. We're both fucked up. This whole thing is destined to end in disaster, so let's just stop while we're ahead." He opened the door and you grabbed his arm before he could leave.

"That's not how you really feel and I know it. For once in my life, I've met someone that I don't want to push away!" Your voice shook as you pleaded your case. "You make me feel real and alive. Shane I lo-"

_'Not like this'_

"NO!" he shouted and tugged his arm out of your grasp, hating himself as he saw you flinch. You opened your mouth to say something, anything, to make him stay, but it was too late. He had stormed off to the ranch, leaving you to rest your head on the coop door. Everything you saw turned to colored blobs as hot tears flooded your eyes. You left the coop and felt a cold gust of wind, blowing the last of the leaves off of the trees, a few random snowflakes sprinkled in. Your fields were empty and you were left feeling small as you entered your worn down farmhouse.

Falling to the couch, you curled into a ball. The silence overwhelmed you.

You were alone. And the worst part was that you felt like you deserved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaah I'm sorry!! This was one of my shorter chapters and boy did it go back and forth! But such is life! I'll be working on the next one in my free time (which I don't have too much of anymore but oh well lol)
> 
> If you're just dying for more content from ~yours truly~ you can see my art on twitter dot com @ missmacutie ! I've only done one Stardew Valley fanart but I plan on doing more so if you're curious, check it out! <3
> 
> Take care everyone! Things are tough, but they'll get better!


	7. At the Bottom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gets a little dark, I do apologize in advance!
> 
> Hello everyone! Due to current events, I'm out of work until further notice. I've been using this extra time to make sure this chapter was nice and long for everyone. I hope you enjoy!

The first portion of winter was a blur to you. Your mornings started with feeding and tending to your calves and chickens. Sapphire finally reached adulthood and started producing eggs. Mootilda and Nestle were surely close behind with producing milk, which would give you even more work to do, but you welcomed anything that ate up your time nowadays.

Ever since Shane bolted away that night, you didn't feel like going out or really doing anything unless you absolutely had to. You had been fully prepared for the change of season with a silo full of hay and a fridge full of food so there was no reason to go into town. With nothing else to do when the animals had been fed, your options were to either sit at home and sulk or adventure in the mines, and you would always choose the latter.

You were actually somewhat proud of the progress you had made in the mines. The deeper you went, the more ores and gems you came across. Most nights, you would come home limping, but with a backpack full of gems, geodes, ores, coal, and the occasional hardwood. Your life was dedicated to the mines now. It was the only thing that gave you satisfaction anymore. The constant danger and fighting was the only thing that had been able to dispel the dark thoughts from your mind. 

You didn't care if you got hurt. Who would really miss you anyway? You spent your whole time in Stardew Valley showering people with gifts, but hesitant to build actual relationships with the townspeople. In the moment, it seemed best to win everyone over by talking to them and giving them presents everyday. But there was more to friendship than that.

'If they wanted you in their lives, they would have been making an effort too.' 

That voice in your head had been nagging at you since you moved here. You pushed it back for so long, but it came back twice as loud in your solitude. No matter what you did, you were still the outsider. You always had to come to them. Who really dropped what they were doing to check up on you?

You checked the calendar for the first time since the season began only to realize you missed the Ice Festival. Your days had blended together so much, you didn't realize it was going on yesterday. Bitterly, you wondered if anyone even noticed. Probably not. Everyone was probably in their little designated friend groups like usual.

As you dug around for your weapons and rings in the chest beside your bed, you wondered if anyone really did notice. Your eyes were locked to your cellphone that had been collecting dust on your end table. You stood up and reached for it, tempted to see if anyone had called or sent a text worrying about you. Clicking the unlock button, the screen remained dark. It was out of battery. That was probably for the best anyway. You tossed the device into your tool chest and took off towards the mines.

The howling wind was sharp and ice cold. Even in your layers, it still cut you to the bone after just minutes of being outside. Your tools and sword clanked loudly as you drudged up the mountains. Luckily, Robin's family seemed to all be inside, sheltering from the harsh winds that were currently leading you to the mines.

Once you got inside, you shed your extra layers and stuffed them in your backpack. You shook yourself to get your blood pumping and slapped your cheeks a couple times, hyping yourself up for the adventure that was bound to come. You entered the elevator and had it take you to the lowest level it could for now. You were tired of being in the ice levels, despite how gorgeous they were. It was just way too cold for your preferences. Not to mention, the magma floors had the best ores yet. It was worth facing off against the stronger monsters.

The elevator dinged and your heart began to pound wildly in your chest. You knew this was dangerous. You knew you were pushing yourself past your limit. But for some reason, it did nothing but excite you. You spent too much of your life being afraid. Too much time had been wasted because you were too scared to go after what you wanted. You would get what you wanted from these mines or die trying, and even that didn't scare you. You made sure you left extra feed out for your animals right before you left in the off chance something would happen. It wasn't your goal to die in the mines on purpose, but if it happened, well, it happened.

You held your sword tightly, scanning the area before you got to mining. It was dead silent besides the sounds of slimes in the distance. You determined it was safe to mine a little bit in this area before moving on. You were able to find quite a bit of gold ore, but a faint glimmer off in the distance caught your eye. As you approached, you saw that it was a stone with large purple gems jutting out of it, larger than your previous amethyst. You carefully began to pick away at the stone, trying to preserve as much of the gem as possible. Right before knocking the gem loose, however, you were startled by a loud symphony of shrieks, as several lava bats dive bombed you.

All hell broke loose as they flew into you, bit your flesh, and tangled themselves into your hair. You let out a pained cry and dropped your pick axe as they pulled and tore at you. Their skin was hot like burning coals as you pulled them away from your body and finished them off with your sword. The commotion must have alerted the other monsters, because the cave was suddenly alive with disturbing noises and squeals. You bolted, frantically looking for a ladder down to the next floor, too stubborn to quit when you just started.

You could hear wings flapping behind you as you ran. Several large rocks blocked your escape and you reached for your pick axe, blood running cold as you realized you had left it behind. You braced yourself with your sword and managed to fight back against the rest of the bats that had been chasing you. You swung at the creatures fiercely, using your repressed rage to your advantage. Once the last one had fallen to your blade, you dug through your backpack and found something that could help you: bombs. You knew the other monsters on this floor were sure to be following the noise from your struggles, so you didn't have time to go back for your pick axe.

After detonating a few bombs, you found the ladder down and quickly descended to the next floor. You were armed and ready for any monsters waiting for you at the bottom of the ladder, but luckily, it was pretty quiet on this floor. After triple checking your surroundings, you sat down and dug through your bag for any first aid supplies you could find. All you had were a couple bandages that you applied to your hands. Everything else had been used up in your previous trips to the mines and you hadn't even considered stocking back up at Harvey's office.

When you were done patching yourself up to the best of your ability, you pulled your knees close to you and looked out to the dark void in front of you. You had no idea what to do. Monsters waited for you above and who knew what awaited you ahead. You were bloodied, bruised, and burnt already and your adventure just started. You kicked yourself for pushing to go deeper and deeper without making sure you were prepared. Your impatience got you into this mess, so now what?

You stood suddenly, rocking a bit with unease as your bones creaked painfully. Why were you suddenly so afraid that this would be the end? 

The image of a sleepy Shane beside you intruded your mind. You shook your head.

'Just accept that this is all your life will be,' a familiar voice said venomously. 'You're nothing special. They're better off without you.'

If you made it back home, you made it back home, if you didn't... Well, you wouldn't be able to worry about it anyway.

You gathered your belongings and pulled out bomb after bomb, clearing your way and leaving ore and gems in their rubble. As you turned the corner, you saw a creature that appeared to be just a floating head. You locked eyes with it and it shot fire in your direction, the small explosion knocking you down momentarily before you ran in the other direction. You were met with another wall of stone and you quickly lit a bomb. While you were trying to make space between you and the bomb, however, you stepped in something thick and squishy. You looked down and saw a small set of eyes looking back at you. The slime had left you partially immobilized at the worst moment. Before you could even free yourself, the bomb had detonated, the shock wave launching you harshly against the wall. 

You heard a sickening creak in your chest as you dug your sword into the ground and tried to pull yourself up. Your ears were ringing and you were dizzy from the impact. Your body screamed in pain once you realized the debris had cut into your arms and legs. The floating head from earlier floated around the corner beside you and you struck it down before it could notice your presence.

Your feeling of victory was short-lived before your body gave out and you fell to your knees, desperately trying to keep yourself up with your sword. You let out a mixture of a cough and a sob. 

Moving to Stardew Valley was supposed to be your reset. Yet here you were, letting the pain from your past keep you caged. You didn't want to die, you just wanted out. You never gave yourself the chance to mentally escape your past. All of your opportunities and second chances had been wasted.

You saw a shadow move in the distance and your heart pounded fiercely in your chest. You tried your best to stand, but instead fell to the ground stomach first.

Memories of your life on your grandpa's farm flooded your mind as everything got hazy. You remembered the fresh spring air on your first day and how you couldn't stop staring at the cherry blossoms as they fell. Most of everyone had been polite and standoffish as you greeted them. You let out a small chuckle when you relived Shane's rude greeting. He had given you a rude and confused look that made you feel stupid for even considering talking to him. After that day, you got a sick pleasure from annoying him with your kindness. He was just as satisfied shooting you down, time after time, until you bought him a drink on his birthday on accident. That was the first time you saw a genuine look of appreciation from him. From that point on, he was a little less rude to you. He was still an asshole, but you knew his bark was way worse than his bite.

A wave of sadness came over you when you thought of him. Reality had set in and you realized the last time you saw him would be him storming away from you because your prying had made him uncomfortable.

As the shadow figure grew closer, your heart broke even more knowing he would probably blame himself for this. If you weren't so selfish, you would have thought about his pain too. As your vision faded, you wished you could go back in time. You would tell Shane everything. You wanted nothing more than to hurt with him. You would open up about your life and you would be there to hear him open up about his. Maybe in your next life, you wouldn't be as much of a mess. If you ever saw him again, you would be there for him, no matter what.

"Shane..." you said weakly, "I'm sorry..."

You passed out before the monster could reach you.

  
***

  
Shane woke up the day after the Ice Festival to a loud banging on his door jostling him awake. Marnie had yelled at him through his door about something, but the headache from his hangover was louder than she was. He rolled over and looked at his digital radio, groaning as he read the time. It was 2pm, and he was still tired enough to consider going back to sleep, until Marnie knocked roughly once again.

"Shane! You missed work again!" she shouted, as if he didn't already know. He just groaned loudly in response. He wouldn't be worried about Morris firing him until some other sorry loser makes the mistake of moving to town. Until then, the only thing he should worry about is Morris finding new ways to make his life even more hell. "Since you didn't want to work today, I've got a job for you," Marnie said, annoyed tone in her voice.

"Ok, ok, I'm coming," Shane groaned. He rose quickly and fought back the nausea that made his hair stand on end. He put on fresh clothes and left his room, looking like death itself. Marnie looked him up and down and let out a disappointed sigh. Shane glared at her for her lack of subtlety.

"Lewis called, he said he hasn't seen the farmer in awhile." Shane averted his eyes and crossed his arms, feeling defensive at the thought of you. He had been trying to message your for a couple days with no answer. He didn't blame you for ignoring him after his outburst.

"Well, you know I haven't either. I've been at one of three places, like always."

Marnie pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Shane, now's not the time for attitude. He's worried about her since she missed the Ice Festival yesterday. The only person who's seen her in the last week was Demetrius while he was studying the lake." Shane felt off about the situation, but he boiled it down to a mix of guilt and his hangover. "I want you to go to the farm and check up on her. If she's sick, she needs someone to help her with the animals."

Shane rolled his eyes. "Why do I have to be the one to do it, then?" Marnie responded with an icy glare.

"Because unlike you, I have work to do." That shut him up fast. "Honestly, Shane, what is with you lately? You were doing so well..." Shane stared at his feet, lips pinched in a thin line. He couldn't argue with her there.

Shane heated up a pizza in the microwave and tried his best to eat it, but his upset stomach didn't let him get very far. It was in knots. He definitely wasn't ready to see you after he stormed away, embarrassed at his outburst. He knew you were just trying to help but he took his anger out on you unfairly. Helping you with your chores while you were sick was the least he could do. If you didn't want to see him, he would understand completely. He barely wanted to deal with himself.

Pulling his thick blue coat on over his hoodie, he was ready to face the bitter cold. The bright light reflecting off of the snow outside only made his crushing headache worse. Once he reached your farm, he went straight for the coop. It was comfortably warm, thankfully, and the chickens all seemed happy and fed. Shane spent a little extra time in the coop, partly to warm himself up and partly to stall for time. He was mentally preparing himself for the worst. He was sure once you saw him you would yell or scream at him to leave you alone.

The barn was in the same shape as the coop, much to his surprise. The calves were warm and even had extra food laying out for them. He made a mental note to remind you not to overfeed the animals for the sake of their health and your wallet as he exited the barn. Shane stuffed his hands in his pockets and loitered outside of the barn for awhile, debating on just leaving since you could obviously take care of your animals on your own. Something in the back of his mind was nagging him to apologize, though. It felt like he was always the one to mess everything up and hurt you. 

He turned around to head back to Marnie's ranch. The nagging in his head grew louder with every step he took. Something was telling him that he wanted to, no, needed to apologize to you. He turned around once again and jogged up to your door and knocked. 

No answer.

He gave the door another series of knocks, this time pressing his ear against the cold wood, trying to listen for any signs of life from within. Nervously, he tried the doorknob and found that it was unlocked. He poked his head inside and called your name. 

Still nothing.

Shane stepped inside, awkwardly searching the living room and kitchen for you. He turned around and saw the door to your bedroom was cracked slightly open. He felt his heart pounding as he quietly came to the door, unsure if he should be scared or relieved if he were to find you. When he pushed the door open and peeked around the room, he felt sick to his stomach to find that you weren't there. Something was definitely off.

Mind racing, Shane paced around the house looking for any kind of sign or clue of where you could be. He saw your tool chest was still wide open with nothing but your cellphone and some miscellaneous weapons inside. He wondered what you could've been doing this whole time that no one would have noticed where you were besides Demetrius.

Then it hit him.

The lake. Mountains. Tools and weapons. Shane remembered the conversation before he got angry.

"I actually plan on going back to the mines during the winter,"

You were in the mines.

Shane let out a small sigh of relief and grunted as he rose from his knees. You were probably fine. He knew you frequented the mines in search of gems. He was sure you were alright. Even though you mentioned monsters a few times. But you always made it back. You were probably fine...

So why was he filled with dread at the thought of leaving things be?

Keeping his eyes glued to the chest, he thought long and hard. Should he dare to face the mines? What if you saw him and called him a crazy stalker? Or what if you thought that he thought you were weak? He would definitely have to lock himself away and drink himself into oblivion after something like that. He turned away from the weapons and began to leave. The image of you laying lifeless in a cave flashed through his mind.

What if you did need help? What if you got hurt and no one was around to save you? He couldn't live with himself if he lost another friend. Shane grabbed and random sword and bolted out the door, kicking it closed behind him.

He would happily risk your wrath over knowing you died in those mines and he chose not to help you.

Shane ran up the mountains, adrenaline keeping his blood pumping and hot. He paused in front of the opening to the mines, anxious about what he would find within. The thought of entering the mines had never once crossed his mind. He was way more content not knowing what was down there, but alas, here he was. He took a deep breath and went inside, eyes immediately locking with the elevator. He entered and saw several glowing buttons that he guessed signaled the different floors. He gulped loudly. Some floors remained dark and he wondered if that meant you couldn't access those floors or if the elevator was going to break down at any minute. He figured he wouldn't push his luck and just pressed the last button that was illuminated, nervous because it looked like that meant going 105 floors down. But if that meant getting the chance to apologize to you, he would do it.

The elevator shook violently during his descent, doing nothing but upsetting his stomach even more than it already was. The contraption let out a ding, alerting him that he had reached his destination. Once everything had stilled and he walked past the elevator doors, Shane realized that he had been shaking. It was dead silent and darker than he could imagine with only several torches in the distance providing the slightest light.

He took slow and careful steps around the area, looking and listening for any sign of you down there. The pressure from being so deep underground certainly wasn't doing any wonders for his headache, but he tried to ignore it for now. As he felt along the walls, he accidentally kicked something large and metal, its scraping startling him so bad he let out a loud yelp. After he collected himself, he walked over to see what he had kicked. Under the light of a torch, he could see it more clearly. When he bent over to observe it, Shane's heart felt like it stopped.

It was a pick axe. And not too far from it was a large chunk of amethyst.

Shane picked the gem up and put it in his pocket, making sure to secure the pick axe safely against him so it wouldn't get in the way if he needed to fight. His breathing became more rapid as the reality of the situation hit him. He moved quickly, scanning the area for any more signs of you, calling out to you quietly. He grabbed a torch off of the ground to help him see and held it in his off hand. 

A couple of little green slimes charged at him and he sighed a breath of relief when he finished them off. He went deeper into the mines and saw what appeared to be rubble. Before he could even think about what may have caused it, a deafening BOOOOM shook the ground below him, causing his blood to run like ice through his veins. He was sure you were involved in the explosion and wasted no time desperately searching for a way down. He found a ladder and was soon on the next floor.

Shane immediately smelled thick smoke from the bomb and had a feeling if he followed it, it would lead him to you. Fighting off the occasional bat or slime that got in the way, he turned a corner and saw a disturbing pink creature immediately get chopped in half by a sword. He approached slowly, unsure if the person with the sword was friend or foe, until he heard a desperate coughing noise and a thud. He dropped his torch at the sight unfolding before him. As he got closer, he saw you covered in blood and soot, barely holding onto your weapon as you tried to balance yourself. Shane couldn't bring himself to run to you, overcome with shock.

He saw you look out to him and then fall, arm stretched out in his direction.

"Shane... I'm sorry..." was all you could say before your eyes flitted closed.

"No..." Shane whispered as a tear trailed down his cheek. "Am I... too late?" He kneeled next to you and rolled you over to inspect your injuries, but quickly realized that you were in bad shape. With shaky hands, he positioned you on his back and used his scarf and coat to secure you to himself the best he could. It was far from perfect, but it was all he could do. Balancing you on his back, he carried you slowly to the exit of the mines, without running into any more monsters, thankfully.

By the time you were both outside, it was late in the evening and completely dark outside. Your glow ring provided a decent amount of light as Shane went as fast as he could to Harvey's office. A sharp gust of wind sliced through both of you, jolting you awake for just a moment, just long enough for your eyes to catch a glimpse of dark violet hair. The smell of cologne that always made your heart beat a little faster stuck with you as you faded back into darkness.

  
***

  
The first thing you noticed when you woke up were sterile white walls surrounding you. Soft instrumental music played in the distance, leaving you wondering if this was just a dream. Were you already in your next life? You tried to sit up but the pain quickly put a stop to your plans. You were definitely still in your current life. There was a stirring beside you and you realized you weren't alone.

Shane was sitting beside you in a chair with his face planted in the bed, seemingly fast asleep by the way he was snoring lightly. His hand had been wrapped in yours as he slept. You knew he had to be uncomfortable sitting like that.

Wait. Why was Shane here? How did you escape?

The door suddenly opened and in walked Harvey, in full doctor mode. The sudden noise jostled Shane from his sleep and his wide, bloodshot eyes locked with yours. The circles around his eyes looked darker than usual and slightly puffy. He gave your hand a firm squeeze, as if he was making sure it was really you awake in front of him. Dr. Harvey gave you a soft smile.

"How are you feeling, (Y/N)?" he asked, pulling another chair up to sit beside you on the other side from Shane. You fidgeted with the hospital blankets nervously.

"I-" you winced, "ugh.. hurt." Your answer was pitiful, but that didn't seem to shock the doctor at all. "Wait, what time is it?"

"A little after 6am. Given the extent of your injuries, I'm not surprised you're hurting. Any dizziness or nausea?"

"Nothing too bad. The worst of it is just a sharp pain in my chest." You felt Shane's hand on yours rubbing circles with his thumb while he listened. Harvey hummed and jotted your answer down into his notepad.

"(Y/N)... you're very lucky to have walked away from this after what Shane told me. You've got a cracked rib, several burns to your hands and neck, and too many lacerations and deep bruises to count, to put it lightly. Only a few cuts needed stitches, luckily. If Shane wasn't there..." he trailed off and cleared his throat once again. "You know what, let's not worry about that right now. I'm going to prescribe you pain killers. No heavy lifting or strenuous activity for a couple weeks. I'll give you the clear to go back to work after you've healed. For now, just focus on getting a lot of rest and take it easy."

Your face fell. "Wait, I can't do that. What about my animals?"

Shane spoke up for the first time since you woke up. "I'll be helping you for the next couple of weeks until you get better." His voice was gruff and strained. "Morris gave most of my hours to Sam anyway so I have more free time," he shrugged.

Harvey stood from the chair. "Looks like that settles it. I'll get your painkillers ready and I suggest you take some soon. (Y/N), you are free to go whenever you feel strong enough to stand." He left the room and soon returned with your medication. You tried standing up but soon realized you were in a hospital gown and blushed.

"Umm... Harvey, about my clothes...?" you started. Shane looked away, slightly embarrassed.

Harvey held his hands up defensively. "Don't be mad, (Y/N)... but your clothes had to be thrown out. They were too filthy and torn apart. We do have some spare souvenir clothes that some tourists left behind at the fair for some reason..."

"Are they clean?" you asked. You were going to miss your sweater but couldn't really complain too much considering you were alive.

"Why of course!" Harvey replied promptly.

"Then I'll take them," you sighed. 

Harvey walked to the small miscellaneous supply closet and pulled out the articles of clothing. He inspected them for a second and tensed up. "Actually, maybe you should have someone run to your house and pick some clothes up..." he said nervously. "I think this is too big for you." You insisted it was fine, you just wanted to go home as soon as possible. Harvey looked at the long sleeved shirt and back at you before sighing and handing it over.

Holding the shirt up, you realized why he was so hesitant before giving it to you. On it said "I SURVIVED STARDEW VALLEY" in big bold letters. Shane pinched the bridge of his nose, not finding any humor in the irony. You, however, let out a choked chuckle despite your body begging you not to laugh. Both men looked at you questioningly while you took your first dose of painkillers.

"What? It's fitting!," you said lightheartedly. "I'm going to get dressed now if you two could step out for a bit." Shane blushed and immediately shot up and walked out, Harvey following close behind.

Once you were finally able to slip the shirt and sweatpants on, you were pleased to see your boots waiting for you in a box on the check-in counter. You were secretly relieved that they survived, not without some singes and a bunch of soot. Shane insisted you wore his winter coat outside.

"Marnie's going to pick us up in her truck, so it's not like I'll be outside much anyway. My hoodie is enough for me, anyway," he lied through his already chattering teeth.

When Marnie pulled up to the office, she hurried over and wrapped her arms around you, making you wince but also giving you a warm feeling inside. She looked genuinely worried. Shane chastised her for hurting you and she immediately grabbed his cheeks and planted a big kiss on his forehead, causing him to blush. Marnie pulled back and looked angry.

"What were you two thinking?! Do you have any idea how worried we were for you?" It was your turn to go red in the face. You were used to getting yelled at but this was different. Just as quickly as the anger came, it subsided as she pulled Shane in for another hug. "I don't know what I would've done if I lost you, Shane," she whispered into his hair. Shane felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes and returned the hug, at a loss for words. He felt guilty over all the times he had stood at the cliffs, begging himself to be strong enough to end it all. Seeing someone he loved get so worked up over him made Shane reflect on himself.

Marnie felt him shivering against her from the chilled winter air and directed the two of you to get in her truck. It was a short ride back to your farm. You weren't sure how you were going to move on from this. You felt embarrassed, ashamed, angry, and sad. But above all else, you felt almost relieved. If Shane hadn't been there, you would be rotting away in the mines by now. In the moment, it had seemed to be the best place for your story to end. You realized too late that your story was far from over, but you had been granted that second chance. Well, third chance. Regardless, you wouldn't let that go to waste.

When you reached your destination, Shane helped you out of the truck. "I'm going to be here for awhile, Marnie. I'm going to help (Y/N) with the animals while she heals." She gave him a proud smile.

"Just remember to keep me updated! Make sure to see Jas soon, though. She's worried sick about you! Penny's been messaging me all morning. Poor girl has been asking about you this whole time." Shane gave her a soft smile and nodded. He shut the pickup door and Marnie was soon on her way back to the ranch.

Shane helped you limp pathetically up the steps to your tiny house and you were both pleased to be out of the cold. He helped you sit on the couch and started your fireplace while you got comfortable. When that was finally going, Shane turned around and looked at you long and hard, his gaze piercing your soul.

"Shane, I'm so-"

"I'm sorry," he cut you off, voice shaking. Your eyes went wide. Why was he apologizing to you? You were the one who put him in danger. He took a deep breath and sat next to you. "I shouldn't have taken my anger at myself out on you that day. I saw that you were having a rough time and I made it about myself. I wouldn't..." his voice cracked. "I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you. Well, anything worse than what already happened..."

"Shane, stop," you said firmly. "None of this was your fault at all. I appreciate the apology, don't get me wrong. But don't feel guilty about it. It was just an accident. I was careless." Shane's eyes drifted to the wall behind you.

"Then tell me why you disappeared from everyone." You grew tense.

"So much..." you paused and thought about your words before continuing. "Do you ever feel like you're stuck in a cage? You would think the cage would protect you from everything outside. But the stress was piling up on top of your cage and the very thing that you thought was protecting you was turning into a giant metal death trap." Shane looked back at you and nodded, expression unreadable. "It felt like I had been trying to hold the roof of my cage up for so long and when it finally came down, I had nowhere to run."

The two of you sat together without saying anything for awhile, just listening to the quiet crackle of the fireplace.

"Sorry if that's weird," you finally said. "But that's really how I felt. It felt like there was no point. I thought I doomed myself to be alone. But once I was at the point of no return, I realized just how wrong I was." You reached out for Shane's hand and he gave it to you. "I'm sorry for hiding myself from you. I promise I won't keep any more secrets. You're my favorite person I've met here... Well, besides Jas," you giggled. Shane couldn't help a smile of his own along with a deep blush. "I know our... situation is a weird one. I'm not sure what we are, or if we even want to be anything. But all I care about is that you know I care about you... if that makes sense."

Shane stood up from the couch, leaned over, and cupped your cheeks before planting a chaste kiss on your forehead, careful to avoid any cuts or burns.

"It makes sense," he whispered. "Now if you'll excuse me, there's some chickens that need tending to and you're still wearing my coat." Your face felt like it was on fire as you shed his coat as quickly as you could. He was soon suited up and took off for the coop, leaving you alone in your thoughts.

This time, though, all you could think about was how hard you had fallen for him. And how the hell were you going to tell him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so hard to write! More naughtiness should be coming soon, don't worry! Thank you to everyone who's left kind words and support on this fic so far! I read them all and I'm so overwhelmed. I say it every time but it's true! Take care of yourselves and I hope everyone is staying safe!


	8. Can't Leave it Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally open up to Shane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to spoil anything, but there are more descriptions of abuse in this chapter. If you're bothered by that, I do apologize. Skip this chapter if you need to keep yourselves safe, friends!

The next couple of weeks were going to be tougher than you expected while you healed. Although not impossible, your injuries would make it difficult to do anything that didn't involve sitting still or sleeping, and even that could be a struggle, you were learning. Just breathing in too deeply caused your chest to creak unnaturally and send a sharp pain through you. You had assured Shane over and over that you would be fine without him for the rest of the night. He was reluctant to leave you, but all you had to do was get dressed and go to bed. He wouldn't mind helping with that, but maybe in a different scenario where you weren't injured and he was doing it for... other reasons.

Shane had only been gone for a couple hours, but you were already a mess. Every ache and pain coursing within you was a reminder of how careless and selfish you had been. You couldn't help but think about Shane and how he put himself in danger for you. There were so many details you meant to ask him, but decided to save that for another day. Today was meant for healing, physically and emotionally. You took a deep breath to try to calm yourself down. You were home and you were safe.

On your way to bed, you bumped your toe harshly against your tool chest you kept near your bed. The initial pain made you gasp, disturbing your cracked rib. After yelling out a few curses in its direction, you noticed the chest was still open. Your phone was still sitting there, partially buried under your tools. Curious, you took it out and plugged it in to charge before getting comfortable in bed.

You felt exhausted from the events that took place over the last couple of days, but for some reason, it seemed almost impossible to fall asleep. What if you woke up and you were back in the mines? What if the first thing you saw was a monster right as it was about to devour you? Or worse, what if you woke up in Harvey's office and found out that Shane died trying to save you? 

Tears flooded your eyes as your mind dwelled on the what ifs. You knew you should be thankful that things worked out the way they did, but you were too hung up on what could've happened. What if Shane ends up resenting you for this? What if he's just too good to let you know he hated you for putting yourself in danger like that?

No. You smacked yourself lightly on the face. Thoughts like these are exactly what put you here in the first place. You forced your eyes shut and begged your mind to shut up. You weren't sure how long you spent the night in between awake and asleep, but before you knew it, the sun had already begun to rise.

There was a loud knocking on the door and you checked the time. It was only 5:45 in the morning. You strained yourself to try and get up, but before you could, Shane was already walking through the door.

"Don't worry, (Y/N), it's just me," Shane grumbled as he walked into your room. He looked as horrible as you felt. His eyes were dark and bloodshot and his hair was a mess. He plopped down next to you in bed and sighed, leaning up against your body.

"Everything ok, Shane?" you asked. He just grunted in response and rested his head on your shoulder.

"Is this ok with you?" he questioned.

"Of course! I like the physical contact!" you assured him.

"Good," he sighed. His hand found yours and he held onto it, rubbing circles just like he did at Harvey's office. The two of you sat there for a few minutes before he was ready to speak. "I don't know about you, but I couldn't sleep at all," he began. "I kept having dreams that... I was too late. I tried to block it out with a few beers... but nothing worked. Eventually I gave up on sleeping and came over here and got a head start on the chores. I just had to see you and feel you here after that." You sighed and rested your head on top of his.

"Would you believe me if I said the same thing?" He hummed in response. You inhaled as deeply as you could, taking in the scent of his shampoo. It was worth the little jolt of pain. "I felt like I was in sleep limbo. But with you here now, I suddenly feel like I could nap for the whole day, hehe." You were waiting on some kind of response from him, but all you got was a slight snoring next to you. "Looks like you agree," you laughed softly. You pulled him in closer and got more comfortable. It wasn't long before you followed him and drifted off to sleep.

***

A sharp pain jostled you from your nap. You checked the time on your alarm clock beside the bed and gasped when you saw that it was going on 11am. The sudden commotion caused Shane to sit upright quickly, before he had even fully woken up.

"Huh-what? Sorry what were you saying?" he stuttered sleepily, pretending like he hadn't been sleeping that whole time. His face was lightly dusted with a soft blush and his hair was sticking out in every which way. You couldn't help the giggles that escaped you.

"Shane, we've been asleep for almost five and a half hours. It's practically 11." Shane gave you a look of disbelief until he checked for himself. He anxiously ran his fingers through his hair, trying to fix whatever he could of the mess.

"Ah shit, I'm so sorry about that. But hey, you slept too, right? We both needed that," he said stretching until he felt a satisfying pop in his back. He had missed the feeling of having you close to him and, unknowingly to him, you had felt the same way. Shane looked you over with a lazy smile. "So what do you want for breakfast, Sleepy?" You scoffed at the nickname.

"I would hardly call this breakfast, Grumpy," you countered, making Shane roll his eyes. "What? Would you rather be Dopey?" You ruffled his hair lightly and he lightly smacked your hand away.

"Keep it up and I won't make you anything, young lady." You leaned towards him, getting as close to his face as you could.

"Whatever you say... Daddy," you teased. Shane's face went bright red and he frowned.

"Nope. I'm done with this conversation," he said, holding his hands up in defeat. "Enjoy your squishy microwaved pizza rolls." You couldn't contain your laughter as he stormed out of your room. As you were getting up to follow him, your eyes caught your phone that was still plugged in on your nightstand. You unplugged it and held the power button until the screen came alive. It was soon flooded with missed messages from the couple of weeks since you checked it. Your heart sank and tears flooded your eyes as you read them.

**Shane: Hey. Sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you like that.**

**Shane: I'll be at the Saloon tonight if you would rather me apologize in person. Drinks on me.**

**Mother: Answer my calls.**

**Shane: I take it your e not showing upp,?**

**Shane: (Y/N). .. i'M sorting**

**Shane: sorey soryy*8**

**Shane: ducking hell**

**Shane: duck!**

**Shane: FUCK !**

**Mother: You're so immature.**

**Mother: I can't believe how ungrateful you are. You must get it from your good for nothing father.**

**Mother: Cutting out the one person who cares about you isn't that smart.**

**Shane: Well... that was embarrassing.. I really hate that I did that. I'll give you your space. For what it's worth, you're a great person and don't deserve to be hurt.**

**Mother: Oh well, you did this to yourself. Ungrateful bitch.**

**Abby: It's been awhile! We need to catch up!**

**Sam: Hope you're doing well! Mom said you can come over for dinner if you're not too busy.**

**Seb: Abigail and Sam miss you. Hang out with them so they stop bothering me :p**

**Mother: Still ignoring me?**

**Emily: (Y/N) we miss seeing you here at the saloon! Hope you're doing well! Sending positive vibes your way c:**

**Emily: Could you talk to Shane? I think something's bothering him.**

**Abby: Missed you at the Ice Festival! If you're sick, let me know. I'll sneak some medicine over and we can have a nerd day.**

**Mother: I'll be here when you're ready to apologize.**

**Abby: We heard about what happened... You're so brave. Feel better soon. Love, Abby, Seb, and Sam <3**

**Emily: I'm coming over this weekend with a few herbal remedies for you! Take care, (Y/N)**

"Do you want the cheese or the pepperoni?" Shane's knock on the door frame startled you. You wiped the tears that had rolled down your cheeks hurriedly, but he still managed to see. He saw the phone in your hand and his face flared up.

"I'm... really sorry you had to read those," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "I've since learned not to get drunk with my cell on me."

"No.. *sniff* don't be sorry. I'm just so... overwhelmed... by how much everyone cared." Shane sat next to you, shoulders touching comfortably.

"I never understood that about you," he started. "Why are you so surprised when people care? You're nothing but kind to everyone... Even to people who don't deserve it... It's a no-brainer that we care about you." You gave him a sad smile.

"I... didn't have the best upbringing... You know what, I'll let you see for yourself." He gave you a look of confusion before taking the phone from your hands. You watched his eyebrows furrowing as he read the messages from your mother. "It's not as bad as it used to be, that's for sure. I don't know... Am I just being sensitive? Are families normally like this?"

Shane looked back up and you and studied your face before swallowing hard. "(Y/N)..." He wrapped an arm around your waist. He was at a loss for words. You leaned into his touch and took a deep breath. You decided that you had to open up. Not for him, but for you.

"Shane... I've been so scared of talking about... everything. My trauma. My feelings." You sniffed and wiped another tear away. You made quick eye contact with Shane and immediately broke it. "Truth be told, I was ready to take everything to the grave with me. But then you came along. I saw part of myself in you, and I'm not gonna lie, there were times I just couldn't stand you." Shane looked away bitterly and shrugged.

"Can't say I blame you," he sighed.

"Hey, I know you felt the same." You laughed softly.

"Fair. Continue."

"I was jealous... of you." He scoffed beside you and you rested a hand on his knee to let him know you were serious. "You're so unapologetic about everything. You didn't have to hide anything about yourself from anyone. I know now that you had your own problems, but I was jealous that you could just BE upset. I won't say I saw it as a pity competition, but a nasty part of me was so hung up on you for that." Shane let out a short 'hmmph".

"I still can't say I believe that you would be jealous of me for being an asshole, but go on." He gritted his teeth a bit and you felt bad for digging at his insecurities. 

"I'm sure we can agree we've both been in the wrong for a long time now. We're both broken people. Both of us have our own unhealthy coping mechanisms, for sure."

"Being a pathetic and weak alcoholic, yeah, I'd say that qualifies as 'unhealthy'," Shane scoffed.

"So does lying to yourself and others about being rainbows and sunshine until you stop caring about if you get yourself killed or not." Shane stayed quiet and rigid as you spoke. "Shane... I've been so fake for so long. I thought I could just start over here and live the life I always wanted and everything would just disappear. I thought I could make a smooth transition in this new life... but everything I ran from is still there. After all these years, they still find ways to haunt me." He sighed and rubbed your side a bit for emotional support.

"(Y/N), you don't have to tell me anything you're not comfortable with. I'm not leaving you alone like last time, no matter what you choose or choose not to tell me." You shut your eyes as more tears spill out.

"Thanks," you say with a shaky breath. "but I want to tell you. For my own sake. I hope you're okay with that."

"Absolutely," Shane said with a soft smile.

You struggled a bit to find the words before beginning. "I know it's cheesy to say it all started when I was born... but it really did. I grew up in a broken family pretending to be perfect. My mom was so obsessed with the idea of her being the only one to raise me that she held me over my dad's head. She never let him see me. There were nights she would sit in bed with me and tell me over and over that he didn't love me. No one loved me. Except her. Eventually, I started to believe her." Shane remained silent while you spoke.

"Soon, she had found a new man," You took a deep breath. "'Awful'... would be too kind to describe him. It didn't matter if he was sober or drunk, he would constantly beat me and make my mother watch." Feeling Shane's fist tighten on your waist made you nervous, but you trusted him and continued. "He would... grab and pull at my hair and use it to push me into the wall until I behaved." Shane's eyes instinctively drifted towards your hair. "I wasn't allowed to fight back, cry, or even appear to be upset or I would get it. Eventually, I became numb. It seemed like the best way to avoid the trouble."

"When did it stop?" Shane's question made you jump slightly.

"Right when I turned eighteen, I moved out. I didn't care if I had money to eat or not, I was just relieved to be out of that hell hole." Shane sighed.

"I... Thank you for telling me." Shane began. "Don't take this the wrong way, but... I feel like I just met a new (Y/N)." Your breath caught in your throat.

"Sorry," you said quietly.

"No, no, don't be sorry. Like you said, we're both broken people. I used to feel so guilty because someone as amazing and flawless as you was spending so much time with me. Ok, wait... that came out wrong. I mean, I'm glad I don't have to drag you down- not that I'm implying that you're terrible like me, but- ugh... I-" You cut him off with a kiss. His hands were immediately gripping your cheeks desperately as he kissed you back. He felt moisture dripping from your eyes once again and brushed it away with his thumbs as his lips moved against yours. You gave him one last kiss before pulling away. He slowly opened his eyes and smiled comfortably at you.

"Cheese," you said. Shane cocked his head and gave you a puzzled look.

"Huh?"

"I would like the cheese pizza rolls, please," you said politely. Shane kept his eyes locked on you for a couple moments before beautifully ugly laughter erupted from him.

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked sarcastically as he rose from your bed and walked towards the kitchen.

"I have a few things in mind," you said with a playful wink. He stopped in his tracks as he choked on air at your remark.

He could definitely get used to this new you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait for this chapter! This has been another hard one for me to write. April isn't a good month for me as I'm dealing with anniversaries of some not so great things, so I haven't been in a super great headspace. That being said, I'm actually doing better than I thought I would so that's good! I hope everyone's taking care of themselves during these rough times! I'm cheering for you all. As always, thank you for the overwhelming amount of support this fic has received! Every comment I get leaves me in awe. I went into the whole thing thinking maybe a couple people would like it at best but WOW! Every kind comment puts happy tears in my eyes and I show my husband and my friends just how sweet y'all are. <3 Thank you!


	9. I Missed You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet it's a surprise to see me again? I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't in a Stardew mood for the longest time but surprisingly the new Story of Seasons game got me missing our favorite chicken boy so.... you can thank that game lol!! Anyway I totally didn't beta this and kinda wrote the rest of the chapter in one sitting so... sorry! I'm so nervous about posting this after so long. I hope this chapter is worth your long wait!

"It's awfully nice of you to be doing all this for her," Marnie praised. A blush formed on Shane's cheeks but he shrugged it off.

"Hey now, she does a lot for this town," he insisted. "It's winter, she's injured, and her income's been cut in half without her crops. It's the least we could all do for her. She's already done so much for everyone else." Marnie walked alongside him on their way to Robin's.

"Especially for you, I see." She elbowed Shane in the side lightly, earning a grunt and dirty look from him. "You're the last person I would expect to see organize something like this for someone else." He grumbled in response. "Oh, right, I remember now, I'M the one who's organizing this, right?" Marnie giggled as he elbowed her back.

"Marnie, you know why I asked you to do all of this. I'm not exactly the most liked person in town. And people would start assuming things about (Y/N) and me." Marnie gave Shane a thoughtful look.

"Would they be assuming wrong?"

"That's not the point," he snapped. "She doesn't need all the unnecessary drama right now. It's better like this." Shane huffed, half from irritability, the other half from exhaustion as they continued their freezing trek up the mountainside towards their destination.

"Why do you think there would be drama if the town found out about the two of you?" Marnie broke the silence. Her tone sounded almost sad, catching Shane off guard.

"First off, there's nothing to be found out. Second, I... Do you really think people wouldn't give her hell if they- hypothetically- found out we were together. People would probably pity her," he said with venom in his voice.

"Shane, sweetie, you have no reason to hide. Since when have you ever cared what people think?"

"Hmmph, like you're one to talk. You should take your own advice," he grumbled. Regret immediately overcame him when he saw the hurt in Marnie's eyes. "Marnie, I-"

"Maybe you're right. But please be mindful of what she would really want. Being kept a secret sometimes makes people feel like they're not enough..." Before Shane could respond, they had arrived at Robin's doorstep. Marnie opened the door for him and he hesitated before going inside.

  
***

  
"Your house is so cute!" Emily praised. You looked around nervously and suddenly noticed every misplaced and dirty part of your living room.

"Ah, you're being too kind," you said as you pushed yourself to rush to the kitchen counter to rearrange the pots and pans you had laying out. Emily stopped you on your way there with a gentle, yet firm, hand on your shoulder.

"(Y/N), straining yourself will do nothing but hurt you. I promise I won't judge someone with a broken rib for the state of their home," she giggled lightheartedly.

"Not broken. Cracked. It's really not as bad as you guys make it out to be." Emily looked you up and down, taking in your healing bruises and the way you shifted to try to stay comfortable while standing.

"Nope. I don't care. Today was already dedicated to you taking it easy while we have a girl day. Speaking of," a playful glint shone in her eye, "I hear you've been spending extra time with Shane lately." A light blush dusted your cheeks. You had tried to mentally prepare yourself for her to bring up the topic, but you didn't expect her to be so bold about it. She was radiating big sister vibes.

"Well, yeah, he has been very helpful, for sure." You were wording your sentences as carefully as possible so as to not be misconstrued. Emily, however, seemed to be reading more into the energy of the conversation, rather than the words. 

"He's got a good heart, even though he tries not to show it. I've always sensed that in him." She rubbed your shoulder and led you to the couch so both of you could rest a bit. "He cares about you a lot. I don't know if you saw my message, but when you were gone, he looked... lost." Emily gave you a soft smile, but her eyes looked pained. "He drank himself sick most nights. We even got into it a bit when I tried to cut him off." Your eyes trailed down toward your hands.

"I didn't realize it got that bad..." you muttered softly.

"It's not your fault, (Y/N). It's no one's fault," she reassured. "He blames himself for too much. I wish he could see just how great of a person he really is." Emily grabbed your hand and held it gently. She looked into your eyes and smiled brightly. "You and I can help him see that. And I want to help you see your own value too! You are both my friends and I just want the best for you!"

You fought back against the stinging in your eyes from her kind words. "Thank you, Emily. You're the best."

The two of you spent a good portion of the day catching up and talking about your gem collection. Emily's eyes lit up when she saw your chest full of stones. She brought them all out and held them up to the light to observe the color and sparkle of one of your rose quartz.

"One of these days I'll have to build a shelf or something to display these. I feel bad leaving them in the chest all the time." Emily turned to you excitedly and flashed you a big smile.

"Maybe I could talk to Robin about building a shelf for you too!"

"Oh no, no, I wouldn't want to bother- wait... What do you mean 'too'?" Her smile went from bright to nervous as you cornered her with that question. She quickly put the stones away and rushed toward the kitchen.

"Nothing, I just misspoke. Anyway, what would you like for dinner?" You pointed your eyes at her. There was definitely something she was hiding, right? Or was this just Emily in one of her archaic moods again? Shrugging to yourself, you decided you were too hungry to bother with the questions for now.

In the middle of Emily making a delicious-smelling vegetable stir-fry, the door suddenly opened with a shivering Shane stumbling inside. He mumbled a string of curses as he kicked his boots and layers off. After he was left in a dark brown sweater and black pants, he went to the kitchen to grab a beer, finally noticing Emily frying away. He squinted at her, then at you, and then back at her sourly.

"I thought I was making dinner tonight," he said bluntly.

"Just relax. You were in the snow all day. Besides, (Y/N) has yet to try my famous stir-fry!" she giggled. "Well, what are you waiting for, go talk to her! I'm sure she missed you." Emily winked, causing Shane to walk away flustered. He plopped beside you with a grunt before opening his beer and drinking away nervously.

The blush on your face mirrored his own as you struggled to find the words to say. His thighs were warm against yours, almost distracting you from what you wanted to say.

"So... how was your day at Marnie's?" you asked awkwardly. Shane gave you a side eye as he took a couple big gulps from his can. Your eyes trailed down to his throat as you watched him swallow it all down. You didn't want to admit how sexy you found it to be. He let out a small burp before speaking, but it didn't completely kill the mood.

"We had a disagreement. I spoke out of line and ended up upsetting her..." he said with regret. You reached for his hand to comfort him. Your heart dropped as he initially pulled away, but his hand soon came back to find yours. You turned to face him, but he refused to look back for now, eyes more focused on the fireplace. The reassuring squeeze he gave you was enough to satisfy you, however.

"Dinner's ready!" Emily called out from over her shoulder. Both of you jumped at her voice. You instinctively let go of his hand, but he still held on. Your heart stuttered as you looked over at him and you saw him blushing. He rose and guided you up by the hand he was holding, making sure you were steady when you stood.

As you both walked into the kitchen together, Emily was making it painfully obvious that she saw the small displays of affection, but was trying unsuccessfully to play it off like she hadn't. The table was already set quite nicely with candles lit and some slightly wilted flowers in a vase in the middle. It wasn't long before you noticed there only two plates of food.

"Whoops! Would you look at the time? I totally forgot I promised Gus I would be in soon. Look's like you two will have to eat without me," she lied. Shane shot her a dirty look which she either didn't notice or pretended not to. She quickly gathered her things and patted Shane on the back. "Make sure to be a gentleman and clean up for me, 'kay?" He grumbled something at her and she made her way out, not without one last wink towards the two of you.

When the door closed behind her, the air was thick with unspoken emotions. You tried to make small talk with him about how tasty Emily's meal was, but most of it was met with hums and mumbles. 

Dinner was soon finished and Shane was quick to clean up. Thankfully Emily was a tidy chef, so he didn't have much to do besides a little bit of quick scrubbing. He took a seat next to you on the couch where you were watching television.

"Is something else wrong? You've been quiet tonight," you asked him. He rested his head on top of yours and let out a long sigh.

"I'm just nervous, I guess," he started. "I'm pretty bad at voicing how I feel and I'm afraid I'll mess it up if I try." You hummed in response and let his words sink in. An idea suddenly came to you.

"You know, there's more ways to communicate than just talking," you began. "If you can't find the words, tell me what you want to say... through your actions." You trailed your hand up his side, ghosting the skin beneath his sweater with your cold fingers. He let out a small gasp that made your stomach do a flip. He leaned closer in until his mouth was against your ear.

"Let me know if I should stop," he whispered, sending shivers down your spine. You nodded your head in response and that was all the encouragement he needed to begin his assault on your ear and neck. He showered the sensitive skin with harsh kisses and delicate nips. In an attempt to support your body, his arms wrapped around to gently cradle you. The last thing he wanted was to disturb your ribs while they were still healing. 

He was soon planted between your legs and hovering over you as he trailed his kisses back up your neck. He gave your chin a couple quick pecks before finally pressing his mouth against yours roughly. You kissed him back passionately and ran your hands up the back of his sweater, digging your nails into his skin.

"Let's get you more comfortable," Shane groaned against your mouth. He lifted you off the couch and held you steady as you walked to your bedroom. His hands were impatiently trailing down to grope your ass on the way.

"Someone's excited," you said teasingly, opening your bedroom door. Shane guided you to the bed and made sure you were comfortable before continuing. He returned to leaning over you, mouth finding its way back to yours as he teased the elastic band of your lounge pants.

"I've been missing this. I missed you," he said in between kisses. You let out a whimper as he slowly began removing your pants. Once they were removed, you wrapped your legs around him. It took all the energy Shane had not to buck his hips into yours. "How do you want to do this? I don't want to hurt you."

"Shhh... Just relax. I'll let you know if I don't feel comfortable," you reassure him. He went back to kissing you intensely as one of his hands trailed up your shirt. He moaned when he found your breast, almost surprised before he remembered you couldn't wear bras until you were healed. You squirmed beneath him and bit his lip as he pinched a nipple lightly. 

The barely audible moans you were making spurred him on as he worked your sensitive nub between his rough fingers. Shane couldn't help but to rut his still clothed erection against your leg just to get some sort of relief. Pushing your shirt up to your chest, he pulled back and quickly planted his mouth on your other breast, sucking sharply on the neglected nipple. You watched him through half lidded eyes as he sucked away as if he hadn't eaten for days and you were a plate of pepper poppers.

The mental image made you giggle softly to yourself, snapping Shane out of his trance. "Sorry," you muttered, clearing your throat a bit. "You just looked so at peace." Shane raised an eyebrow at you, clearly not amused by your comment.

"Well sorry I can't get enough of your delicious body, (Y/N)" Shane whined dramatically. "Maybe I'm being TOO soft?" He punctuated his assessment by giving your nipples a forceful pinch, smirk forming on his face when you let out a long, pleasured moan. Your thighs instinctively tightened around his waist as you tried to find some kind of friction to satisfy the growing heat below. "Looks like I'm not the only one who's enjoying themselves," he stated cockily.

Before you could retaliate, Shane was hungrily planting kisses down your torso until he hit the elastic of your panties. You let out a gasp when he started massaging your sensitive bundle of nerves over the fabric, burying his face into your most personal area and sucking on the skin around your underwear. Shane spent a long time teasing you before you huffed impatiently.

"Hey now, why are you in such a rush? You still have at least another week before you're healed so there's no reason to hurry, Pumpkin," he purred. Despite your agitation from his shit-eating grin, your heart fluttered from the return of his pet name. However, you were not in the mood to be sentimental. You've been pent up and needed release now. To make your point, you ground your core into his face, making Shane let out a defeated chuckle. "Okay, okay, I hear you."

It wasn't but a moment after that that he pulled your panties down and immediately sank his face into your heat. You were left a flushed and gasping mess as you felt Shane's tongue flicker over your clit quickly, giving the bud an occasional suck. Your hand flew to his dark hair and grabbed on for dear life as you ground harder into his face, desperately trying to find as much friction as possible.

"You taste so delicious, (Y/N)," he moaned against your skin. "Let me know if you want-"

"Moooore," you whined. You felt him smirk against you.

"Yoba, you're so hot," he panted as he swirled a finger around your wet opening. For Shane, the strain in his pants was getting unbearable. He was rutting into your bed frantically, unable to control himself while he went down on you. The noises you made when he inserted his first, and quickly second, finger was orgasmic, and it had him worried he might bust right then and there.

Hair was stuck to your flushed and sweaty face as he massaged your inner walls. He made sure to make note of everything he did to made you whimper, grind harder, or clench your thighs around his head. It was easy for Shane to push back the nagging thoughts of self-doubt while he had you squirming for him. He was nervous at first, especially since you were the first person he'd been with since he left the city, but your body was speaking loud and clear enough to keep spurring him on.

"A-ah! Shane, I think I'm... oh-I'm!" you called out. Shane picked up his pace and angled his fingers to continue pounding your sweet spot while he kept flickering his tongue against your clit. You were widdled down to a blabbering mess by his ministrations and soon came crashing down around him. Shane helped you ride out your orgasm smoothly and pulled back from your heat with a satisfied grin. Your half lidded eyes found his and you fought back the urge to make a sarcastic remark after you spotted the bulge straining in his pants.

"Need help with that?" you offered. It took a moment before Shane realized you were talking about his boner, blush darkening at the implications you made.

"It's fine, trust me, you don't have to," he insisted.

"What happened to that bold Shane from earlier?" you teased. "I'm sure he could use some release, judging by how aggressively he was eating me out just now." Shane gulped at your sultry tone, suddenly feeling very aware of how he let the horny get the best of him.

Shane cleared his throat. "You're in no shape to help me out. I'll just finish up in the bathroom, it's fine."

"No," you said bluntly. Shane just blinked at you.

"What?"

"I want to watch you."

Shane sighed in defeat. "There's really nothing worth watching, but if you insist-"

"And I do."

Shane pulled his pants and boxers down, letting his swollen cock escape its fabric prison finally. "-then I guess I can't say no." He grabbed the base of his dick firmly, letting out a pleasured hiss from finally getting some attention to the place he wanted it the most. You couldn't help but watch carefully as he slowly pumped his member lewdly in front of you. Your mouth watered when you caught him swirling a thick drop of precum around the head of his cock, rolling his eyes back from the sensation.

Shy from being on display, Shane mostly kept his eyes shut while he worked himself quickly. He was already so close from dry humping the mattress earlier, not to mention the thought of you watching him get off was extremely sexy. After hearing you stir in front of him, he opened his eyes wide to see you with your legs spread wide, touching yourself and biting your lip while your eyes were glued to his member. Shane gasped loudly and was suddenly right there at the edge.

You noticed his pace quickening and knew he was going to come undone at any moment. Your hands started working faster, quickly guiding your sensitive clit to another orgasm. Right before you reached your climax you called out to him. "Mmm, Shane. I-I want you to cum on me... please," you begged.

Your request was all he needed to hear. Shane quickly positioned himself over you and reached his free hand out to yours. A long, blissful moan escaped his parted lips as he came, screwing his eyes shut tightly. The feeling of his hot ropes of cum covering your hand and pussy sent you crashing over the edge as well, leaving the both of you panting and flushed.

After a few moments, Shane slowly opened his eyes and took you in. "You're incredible," he whispered with a soft smile. "I can't believe I-"

"You better believe," you warned. Shane jumped a little at your sudden change of tone. "Shane, I know you think you're nothing special and you shouldn't have any good things, but you're so much more than you give yourself credit for." Shane averted his eyes, but didn't argue with you. You rubbed circles into the hand you were still holding. "I know it's hard to see the good in yourself when all you can focus on is your mistakes, but I want us both to try to break these bad habits we have."

There was silence for a few minutes before you heard Shane sigh. He brought his eyes back to yours and couldn't help the small smile on his face.

"Thank you," he whispered. You pulled his hand to your mouth and kissed it gently. The two of you sat there for awhile before a disgusted look came over Shane's face. "Listen, as much as I like this right now, I can't help but think it's time to clean you up," he stated. You laughed and nodded your head in agreement as you reached for the tissues on the nightstand beside you.

"Oh Shane," you said in a mockingly sing-song voice, "I might need your help in the shower." Shane's face scrunched up when you shot him a wink and he rolled his eyes.

"You're pushing your luck, Pumpkin."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE!! I had no drive, no passion, nothing. But man oh man do I miss uploading. And I check the tag a LOT for Shane/Reader fics, but I noticed things were slowing down so I knew it was my duty to give y'all an update. Just kidding! What really got me back in the mood to write has been all the sweet and caring comments y'all are STILL leaving me, even after MONTHS of inactivity, and for that, I'm beyond grateful ;w; This one's for you guys. I love you!


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